Q: I just read about two celebrities who are throwing a party to announce their divorce. How do you two feel about something like this? Doesn’t seem like good ex-etiquette at all.

A: Thank you! And you’re right — it’s not good ex-etiquette at all. It makes a mockery of marriage and is downright tacky, especially if children are involved. It’s right up there with divorce announcements, which we also think are in bad taste. Divorce isn’t funny and the announcement of a divorce shouldn’t be done to generate publicity. Kids’ lives are turned upside-down, and more often than not former partners and their extended family emerge sad and brokenhearted. It takes years for many people to get over a divorce; some never do.

That said, what’s a good way to let people know you’re getting a divorce? The best is to respectfully mention it during a one-on-one conversation, making sure you don’t bad-mouth your former partner (especially if you have children or even nieces or nephews) or offer too many gory details, creating a mess you’ll have to mop up afterward. Although you might think it’s a big surprise to your friends, most have a sense already. If they’re good friends, the correct response is disappointment that it didn’t work out, especially if they know that you’ve been working hard to overcome something. Sarcastic responses, like, “Figures” or “What a surprise!” are also bad ex-etiquette. A more appropriate response would be, “I’m so sorry.”

Information about someone getting a divorce can be pretty juicy, so be aware that if you tell one person, you’ll likely start a chain reaction. Have a response prepared just in case someone hits you up for the details when you’re not expecting it. Another way we’ve seen people make the announcement is to change their Facebook status to “single.” That also has to be done with a little careful consideration. It’s fine if the relationship was less casual than marriage. The “It’s complicated” profile setting might be more appropriate if you have your kids or more conservative family members reading your posts.

Finally, it’s very bad ex-etiquette to air your dirty laundry on a social media site. Once you write it, it’s there for all to see. You may delete it, but someone may have already printed it out. Most people eventually regret what they say in anger. Remember, it’s fine to write it, but think twice before you push “send.”

Jann Blackstone-Ford and her husband’s ex-wife, Sharyl Jupe, authors of “Ex-Etiquette for Parents,” are the founders of Bonus Families (www.bonusfamilies.com).

— McClatchy-Tribune