Karen Morgan, the Portland-area comedian and chief ice cream maker at Captain Sam’s on Commercial Street, served up some mighty fine wild blueberry ice cream at the Maine Lobster Chef of the Year contest on Thursday.

“Maine’s Funniest Mom” also dished up some hilarious advice for teenagers on how NOT to apply for a job at Morgan’s store. (She swears all of these scenarios actually happened this summer.)

1. Have your parents come in and ask if I’m hiring.

2. Have your parents ask for the application and have them fill it out for you.

3. Make sure you never come meet me in person. Maybe send me an email to ask if I’m hiring, then send me an email asking if I have an application online. If not, just send me a picture of yourself at the prom.

4. When you come in for an interview, make sure that the first question you ask is what is my vacation policy? You can also tell me that you have to have three days off in a row because your boyfriend lives in New Hampshire.

5. When you’re filling out the application make sure to smack your gum really loud and text people while you’re doing it. And then call your mom to ask what is your home address.

6. Also ask, “Do I have to fill out all these pages?”

7. When you’re told the position has been filled but you’re asked “Do you want to be on the waiting list?” make sure you roll your eyes and whine and stomp out the door. That’s great.

8. What not to wear for a summer job interview: Enough perfume to make me open the windows after you leave. A T-shirt so tight that I can read the tag on your bra. And a bicycle helmet that you never take off during the entire interview.

9. What not to bring to a summer job interview: Your boyfriend. Your girlfriend. Your dog. A lunchbox. Your parents. Or a haze of marijuana smoke that surrounds you like Pigpen.

10. And finally, when asked during a job interview “Why do you want to work in an ice cream shop?” say this: My parents want me to. I heard you get free ice cream. My boyfriend loves free ice cream. And “Is this an ice cream shop?”