John Golden got right to it in the very first sentence, informing us that “the best part of JBH is the view.” After his critique of the Cajun chicken egg roll, stating it was “no better than airline food,” his clever suggestion of “hey, with a few drinks and the view, the food becomes secondary” set the tone for the rest of the article.

I’d like to suggest to anyone reading this review that they “have a few drinks first,” as it may actually make it easier to read.

As we continue, Golden shares his interior design tips by mentioning “the décor hasn’t changed in years and the second dining room, which is an enclosed sunporch, has always looked unfinished.” I’m still not sure how that falls under critiquing food.

Golden has an extensive collection of clever words and pithy phrases: “zestless,” “dead ringer for Miracle Whip,” “texture of a baked shoe,” and my favorite: “the chocolate Kahlua cake – out came a humongous wedge as sturdy as pilings under a hailstorm of caramel squiggle. This cake should have stayed on the truck.”

I have some words to describe this review: It was vicious, mean-spirited, inaccurate, smarmy, obnoxious and rude.

It’s one thing to do a professional job of giving an honest, objective opinion of a dining experience. It’s quite another to smugly rip apart a business, all the while trying to be clever. This sounded like something way more personal than a review.

I will continue to eat at Joe’s and enjoy the food, the atmosphere and, yes, the view.

Sabrina Zappone

South Portland