It’s sometimes important to stay out of the way. I’ve learned this over the past 66 years of my life. This concept is especially true when you find yourself at the supermarket. Following my wife, I was impressed how easy it was for her to fly through the labyrinth of shopping carts and displays that were placed in the middle of the aisles to not only sell the products but to drive everyone in the store to stress levels they never wanted to reach.

We worked our way through the store to finally reach one of my wife’s favorite sections. It had every type of vegetable I knew and a few I hadn’t imagined existed. Understanding only the vegetables I recalled seeing in my refrigerator and could pronounce I was surprised by a burst of cold water flowing from the top of the refrigerator case. At first, I thought some sort of water line had broken. The woman who came to my aid explained that a spray system is used to keep the vegetables looking fresh.

Toward the back of the store was the delicatessen area. I took a number and waited my turn. When called on, I confidently ordered one pound of turkey. The person behind the counter hesitated a few seconds and asked me what type of turkey I wanted. There are different types? After I stared blankly for a few seconds she broke my stupor by explaining turkey could be in the form of pastrami, ham, bologna, or hot dogs. Hot dogs? She asked if I wanted “just turkey.”

“Yes!” I answered, hoping the questions would come to an end. When she came back she asked if I wanted something else. Quickly I ordered the one thing I knew she would understand. “One pound of American cheese!” I bellowed, hoping all who surrounded me might understand I knew what I was doing. Finding my wife at the milk and egg departments, I proudly gave her the neatly wrapped plastic bags containing the meats I was assigned to order. She was about to say something but decided not to because of a rather pathetic look on my face. I never realized milk came in not only different sizes but also different levels of fat. The bread aisle was the longest and with the most varieties. Arriving at the checkout counter I saw an assembly line that would have made Henry Ford jealous. Within minutes we were buzzed and beeped through a type of laser computer that registered my purchases. Before we left, I was given a giant receipt that told me not only the prices of my groceries but also exactly what I had bought. The number on the bottom of the receipt shocked me the most; $295.96. Driving home, I came to a rude awakening.

I had just spent more for groceries than I paid for the mortgage on my first home.