June 16, 2012

Maine Voices: Maine diocese makes right move by choosing not to promote bias

A Catholic father who has a gay son appreciates that the church in Maine isn't fighting gay marriage.


LYMAN - This Sunday is Father's Day. Across the country, families will gather for Sunday dinners and backyard barbecues. We raise a glass together, because it's not only a day families celebrate their fathers -- it's a day that we fathers celebrate our families, too.

Betsy Smith
click image to enlarge

Same-sex marriage backers carry signed petitions to the Maine Secretary of State’s Office on Jan. 26. A Lyman Catholic says he’s proud that the Maine diocese won’t be participating in a “second collection” Sunday to fund efforts to thwart gay marriage.

2012 File Photo/The Associated Press

For all Americans, Father's Day is about love, respect and commitment.

I was raised Catholic, educated at a Catholic university and raised my sons in the church. Our family was very involved in our parish. I have served as Parish Council president, and my wife and I were both Eucharistic ministers and Sunday school teachers.

All three of my sons served as altar boys. I was proud to raise my kids in a faith with a deep commitment to care for the most vulnerable in our society.

My wife and I raised all three boys the same. They went to the same schools, played sports, hunted and fished, and occasionally got into trouble. They are now grown men, and I am extremely proud of all of them.

One of my sons is gay. I've always known that his life would be more difficult than that of his brothers. As a father, all I want is for all my boys to live happy, healthy, fulfilled lives.

On Father's Day, many Maine churches will be participating in a special "second collection." This second collection won't be used to fund a mission trip to Africa or to help feed Portland's homeless. Rather, these churches will use this money to fight civil same-sex marriage rights for my son.

While this is an unfortunate, anti-family move on the part of certain religious denominations, I am proud to say Maine's Catholic leadership has opted to avoid the divisiveness of this issue.

The fact that these other churches would participate in such activity is disappointing. More than wanting my son to be able to marry the person he loves, I want my son, and every father's son in Maine, to be proud of their faith traditions. 

My father raised me in the Catholic faith that taught lessons about justice and the common good. He taught me that as a Catholic, I can be part of a powerful, positive force in the world. He taught me that God's greatest gift is love. And I passed these values on to my children.

By avoiding the divisive politics of this election year, Maine's Catholic Church has seemingly learned from past mistakes. In 2009, more than 140 churches across Maine took a second collection to oppose marriage equality for members of the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community.

When this happened, many people stood up and walked out of church. Sadly, many have never come back. In fact, according to a study by the Pew Research Center, one in three Catholics born into the faith have stopped calling themselves Catholic.

They leave because Catholics want their faith known for its ability to inspire a culture, not for the political activities of its leaders.

I believe that engaging in the politics of fighting secular laws regarding civil same-sex marriage is wrong for any church. And a review of public opinion polls illustrates that the strong majority of Catholics agree with me.

According to a public opinion survey conducted in March by the Public Religion Research Institute, nearly 60 percent of adult American Catholics support civil marriage for same-sex couples. This is a higher rate of support than among the general public or members of other Christian denominations.

It would seem the Catholic Church in Maine is listening to the voices of the faithful in choosing not to promote discrimination. The Roman Catholic Diocese of Maine has signaled that it will not actively campaign against this November's ballot question allowing civil marriage for same-sex couples. The diocese's decision to "take a pass" on the second collection is a good indication that it will keep that promise.

Because Father's Day is about love, respect and commitment, I'm one Maine father who's proud of my son and my church.

David Flynn is a resident of Lyman.


Were you interviewed for this story? If so, please fill out our accuracy form

Send question/comment to the editors

Further Discussion

Here at PressHerald.com we value our readers and are committed to growing our community by encouraging you to add to the discussion. To ensure conscientious dialogue we have implemented a strict no-bullying policy. To participate, you must follow our Terms of Use.

Questions about the article? Add them below and we’ll try to answer them or do a follow-up post as soon as we can. Technical problems? Email them to us with an exact description of the problem. Make sure to include:
  • Type of computer or mobile device your are using
  • Exact operating system and browser you are viewing the site on (TIP: You can easily determine your operating system here.)