June 15, 2013

The humble Farmer: When she's asking, 'I don't know' is always the wrong answer

Only the statement 'I have no other information' will sate The Almost Perfect Woman's quest for data.


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If I had simply said, "My brother has gone to South Hiram," my wife would have asked about his reason for going, his mode of transportation, the potential for cultural enrichment while there, why he went, who he was planning to see, how long he planned to stay and when he was coming back -- for starters.

And simply answering, "I don't know" to the first dozen or so questions would not slack her off. "I don't know" only whets her appetite to find out exactly what, if anything, it is I do know, and increases the intensity of the interrogation.

So, in the interest of saving time, whenever I make a report I have chosen to end every statement with a robotic: "I have no other information on this matter."

One might argue that my philosophy is not sound when it comes to sustaining a healthy marriage. For when a man knows little or nothing about his friends and relatives, he leaves himself open to his wife's charge, "We have absolutely nothing to talk about."

The humble Farmer can be seen on Community Television in and near Portland, heard on WMPG Community Radio and visited at his website:



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