Wise words, those, Jules.

In case you haven’t heard, Americans are going ape over the pig, and not in the way celebrity chef and swine fetish Antony Bourdain would approve.

Turns out there’s some pig flu sweeping Mexico and it’s pouring into the United States. Quick, somebody call Lou Dobbs!

No worries, the media is on high alert with interactive graphics showing where the sinister disease has been detected. Check out this map on USA Today (Number of confirmed cases nationwide: 40).

And if the World Health Organization’s high-alert bulletins haven’t sufficiently scared you, there’s always this terrific illustration by ABC News depicting a little girl wearing a breathing mask alongside a particularly fearsome-looking pig. Seriously, I’ll bet the dude who made that thing used a pterodactyl during the bird flu.

Also, the Wall Street Journal reports that news of swine flu “roiled” the stock markets, which isn’t surprising since Wall Street has been known to get jittery when there’s a single-car crash in Peoria.