Two weeks ago, I gave my picks for the 10 worst songs of all time and invited readers to do the same.

The one thing I didn’t count on was having these tunes stuck in my head for days afterward. So, before you read on, consider yourself amply warned.

Tracy Quadro wrote: “How in the world could you have missed ‘Muskrat Love’? And its inexplicable remakes? Thanks for the memories — now I’ve got to work on getting ‘The Pina Colada Song’ out of my head.”

Hey, Tracy, my pleasure. Considering that you just put an image of two rodents making out in my head, consider us even.

Ken Altshuler, one-half of Ken & Mike on WGAN’s Morning News radio show, has a clear disdain for ’60s bubblegum: “My personal worst song of all time is ‘Judy in Disguise’ (by John Fred & His Playboy Band). Don’t ask me why, but I just don’t understand why Judy is in disguise with glasses. A tad worse than ‘Sugar, Sugar.’ “

I think it’s a safe bet we won’t be hearing those songs played on Ken’s show anytime soon. But just for fun, call him and request them anyway.

Here’s another novelty song from the ’60s, and a timely one at that, given the sweltering heat we’ve had: Sally Woolf-Wade’s pick for the worst song ever is Brian Hyland’s No. 1 hit “Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini.”

Susan Lebel Young better hope she doesn’t run into Maine resident Don McLean anytime soon: “I never liked ‘American Pie’ or ‘MacArthur Park’ because they are so LOOOOOOng,” she wrote. “From 1967-1971 I’d drive home to Maine for five hours from college in Middlebury, Vt., and it seemed those songs lasted the whole entire ride!! Often my ride-mates would sing along for hour after hour, and then keep singing ‘Bye, bye Miss American Pie’ or ‘Someone left the cake out in the rain’ even after the songs ended, which made the songs even LONGER!!”

Alan Goldenhar of Fryeburg also picked “Muskrat Love” and added “A Horse With No Name” by America, which, admittedly, does have some of the worst grammar ever put onto wax: “This song brings up some interesting questions: 1) Why can’t he name his horse? 2) Why can’t they remember your name in the desert?”

Alan also summed it all up perfectly by noting that the above songs, and others of their ilk, have a special meaning in German: “They are called an ‘Ohrwurm’ — literally an earworm. This is a song that becomes locked inside your brain, repeating itself over and over.”

Which means, if you’ve made it this far into the column, you most likely have one of these songs stuck in your head.

Don’t say I didn’t warn you.


Deputy Managing Editor Rod Harmon may be contacted at 791-6450 or at:

[email protected]