NEW YORK — So far, CBS has been largely willing to forgive Charlie Sheen’s many legal and personal transgressions, but Monday he gave the network more reason to worry.

During a highly erratic interview on “The Dan Patrick Show,” the star, who’s currently on hiatus from “Two and a Half Men” so that he can undergo rehab, announced that he was ready to get back to work, although he also admitted that his sobriety has been “off and on.” He even suggested to the syndicated radio show that he’d already returned to the set, and was “banging on the stage door” but no one would let him back in. Asked when he was scheduled to return, he replied, “August of 2014 at this pace.”

Sheen also addressed his recent outburst during his surprise appearance at UCLA’s baseball practice last week. (He’d told the team to “Stay off the crack. Drink a chocolate milk.”) There were “rumors that I’ve had problems with crack, so it just came out of me like poetry. … (I) said stay off the crack, and I still think that’s pretty good advice, unless you can manage it socially, Dan. If you can manage it socially, then go for it, but not a lot of people can.”

Sheen maintained that he was “100 percent” clean, but his tone sounded desperate, making pleas to the network to take him back soon. “I heal really quickly, but I also unravel pretty quickly,” he said. “So get me right now, guys.”

CBS declined to comment on the interview.

Osbourne settles lawsuit on eve of trial

LOS ANGELES — Sharon Osbourne and a former contestant on her VH1 show “Rock of Love Charm School” have settled a battery and negligence lawsuit on the eve of trial.

Attorneys for Osbourne and Megan Hauserman confirmed they settled the case, which was about to begin with opening statements Monday.

Hauserman sued Osbourne in March 2009, claiming she was struck and had her hair pulled by the wife of musician Ozzy Osbourne during an episode of the show. VH1 promoted the fracas as “Sharon and Megan’s big fight.”

In the video, the women exchange insults, Osbourne pours a drink on Hauserman and then the two are surrounded by a rush of people.

Judge dismisses suit brought by Beckham


LOS ANGELES — A federal judge Monday dismissed David Beckham’s libel and slander lawsuit against In Touch magazine over a story that claimed he cheated on his wife, Victoria, with a prostitute.

Beckham’s attorney, Richard B. Kendall, vowed to appeal the ruling and disprove the celebrity tabloid’s claims about the international soccer star, who is married to a former Spice Girl.

U.S. District Judge Manuel Real said in his ruling that Beckham is a public figure and his attorneys hadn’t shown any evidence In Touch published the story with malice. He also said that allegations of any infidelity by Beckham would be of interest to the public.

Elizabeth McNamara, who represented In Touch’s owner Bauer Publishing Co., said the magazine did everything possible to corroborate details from the prostitute’s on-the-record interview. She told Real that the woman’s account was “entirely consistent with Mr. Beckham’s reputation as a serial philanderer.”

Chandler, wife together


SAN DIEGO — The remains of author Raymond Chandler and his wife are together at last after a Valentine’s Day reburial at the writer’s grave in San Diego.

Literary fans who found references to Chandler wishing to be buried alongside his wife were able to persuade a Los Angeles judge to bring the two together by approving reburial.