CHICAGO – Rahm Emanuel complained that he didn’t know it was OK to bring a ventriloquist’s dummy to a debate. He marveled at a tiny model of Tokyo somebody gave him and couldn’t wait to crush it while wearing a Godzilla suit.

He even described the time those AWOL Wisconsin lawmakers were tossed down a water slide by David Axelrod, political adviser to President Obama.

All right, it wasn’t THAT Rahm Emanuel, the one elected mayor of Chicago on Tuesday. It was a mystery tweeter whose obscenity-laced comments during the mayoral race were so popular they attracted 38,000 followers.

If all those followers had been votes, the person behind the Twitter account named “MayorEmanuel” would have finished fifth in the race — not all that far behind the two candidates who finished third and fourth.

Whoever the fake Rahm Emanuel was, he is tweeting no more. The tweeter joked that he had entered “a time vortex” after Emanuel’s victory and signed off.

“They’d better have coffee in the parallel (expletive) dimension I’m entering tonight, or I’m breaking right back out.”

The identity of the fake Emanuel was so intriguing that the real Rahm offered to donate $5,000 to a charity of his or her choice if the tweeter came forward. No one did.

During the campaign, the tweets were popular for their absurdity and incessant profanity — the latter drawn from Emanuel’s real-life affinity for four-letter words. And the make-believe Emanuel was prolific, posting nearly 2,000 tweets since late September.

There was the imaginary road trip to Wisconsin and the plot to steal toilet paper all the way home. There were the debates when all he could think about was how one of his opponents sounded like the teacher in the Charlie Brown cartoons. And he waxed poetic about how the debates would have been “way (expletive) better if we were using muppets.”

Emanuel, who studied ballet in his youth, even echoed the disgust of Chicago Bears fans with Jay Cutler when the quarterback left the NFC championship game early in the second half because of an injury.

“Hey, Cutler, my knee hurt before I had to dance ‘Swan Lake’ once. And you know what? I (expletive) danced the (expletive) out of it.”

 

Copy the Story Link