Know anyone who wants a job as a chauffeur? I get sick and tired of all the jerks who drive and pay no attention to motor vehicle laws and common sense.

I am just about ready to quit driving and use public transportation if there is something fit to ride on. The thought of giving up my vehicle came in a strange dream based on actual events while driving around North Windham in bumper-to-bumper traffic and noticing how many accidents almost happened. I took some time that day to really look at as many vehicles as I could and it’s unbelievable how many have dents, scrapes and other obvious damage from either hitting something or being hit by someone else.

I mentioned North Windham for a reason because when compared to cities and towns that use common sense to design traffic flow, our business district is chaotic with accidents waiting to happen. Unfortunately, the problem goes beyond that because people love to take a shortcut even if it is illegal. Drivers would rather make an illegal left-hand turn than go to the very next traffic light and circle around to get to the destination. As fate would have it, that includes a popular fast-food establishment and several banks as well. Now, make no mistake about it, it’s the drivers of those vehicles who are responsible but the scary part is that some attempt this maneuver in busy traffic.

I used to say that the worse tailgaters were young woman with children in their cars but that is no longer true because of cell phones. Tailgaters scare me for more than one reason and intelligence isn’t one of the reasons. People are keeping their cars for a longer period of time and with our bad economy, I wonder how many of the cars on the road are intelligently maintained. I have my vehicles regularly inspected and yet the wonderful, corrosive chemicals we use to keep our streets bare in the winter managed to corrode my brakes on all four wheels in a relatively short period of time. There is no doubt for me that tailgaters have become the Plague on our highways and what could be scarier than seeing someone is your rearview mirror texting while four or five feet off of your rear bumper?

I also find it amazing that one can sit in front of a traffic light and watch so many numbskulls run a red light and it doesn’t matter where that light is located. It’s becoming so bad that I almost wish I were a socialist/communist who wants a camera in every traffic light to take a picture of every moron that blatantly runs a red light. Countries in Europe have done that for decades along with hidden radar to catch speeders when they least expect it. I have no clue as to whether or not they exempt public vehicles like police cars when they break the law.

Of course I have to work government into this column because my biggest pet peeve when driving in Maine is the darling of the Maine Department of Transportation, the rotary or roundabout, depending upon their size. It’s MDOT’s solution for removing the amount of accidents at dangerous intersections while eliminating the need for traffic lights or stop signs. The biggest problem I have is that many drivers haven’t a clue what “stop” means so I know that they won’t even come close to guessing what “yield” means, especially if they are from, you guessed it, Maine. Maybe it’s high time for some engineers in MDOT to rotate.

I noticed a recent news article that Maine uses computers to administer the driving test necessary to obtain a Maine driver’s license. It grades the test so it eliminates human error for grading. With a click of a button the test can be given in several different languages. That means there are drivers that don’t understand English and that’s even scarier.

Lane Hiltunen, of Windham, wonders if Google Maps vehicles are hacked into by NSA spies.

“Driving is one of the most common forms of travel in the world. It’s a shame so many people suck at it.”

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