Edited and introduced by Wesley McNair, Maine poet laureate.

In this week’s poem Stuart Kestenbaum of Deer Isle tells a tale of adolescent desire, a moth, and a mysterious light that burns inside him.

The Light

By Stuart Kestenbaum

A Camel-smoking teenager, I have just returned

from New York City with my friend

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Ellen, she of the wispy blonde

hair in her eyes and the sophisticated

laugh, when a moth dives deep

into my throat, so that I can’t

talk or swallow. We are on the way

to her house, for what I pray will be

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love and I can’t even tell her

what has happened, I just

stand there in the mercury vapor

light on South Orange Avenue

until we part and I walk home.

The day in New York with the visits

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to her genteel friends,

the Metropolitan Museum of Art,

and Art Students League and the

exotic promise of the train station

all behind us, I knew I just wanted

a girl to put in my life to make

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me whole and instead I swallow

a moth, the brown and white

moth that circles endlessly around

the glow, that can burn itself on the

candle of desire. It must have been

after the light that was

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inside me, the light that

even after all these years

I have not yet seen or understood.

Take Heart: A Conversation in Poetry is produced in collaboration with the Maine Writers & Publishers Alliance. Poem copyright © 2003 Stuart Kestenbaum. Reprinted from “House of Thanksgiving,” Deerbrook Editions, 2003, by permission of Stuart Kestenbaum. Questions about submitting to Take Heart may be directed to Gibson Fay-LeBlanc, special consultant to the Maine poet laureate, at mainepoetlaureate@gmail.com or (207) 228-8263.


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