You have made some New Year’s resolutions. You will implement these promises into your daily routine for a week or so before you break them. It may be easier not to exercise the following 10 bad examples:

1. Do not say “Sat’day” beyond Maine’s borders. People outside of the Pine Tree State still believe that the day after Friday has three syllables.

2. Do not forget the vice president’s name. He’s no ordinary Joe.

3. Do not confuse “i.e.” and “e.g.” The former means “that is,” and the latter means “for example.”

4 Do not use “a lot” as one word. There is no such thing as “alot.”

5. Do not forget the “i before e” rule you learned in the fifth grade. Spell “receive” correctly.

6. Do not say “happy as a clam” unless you add “at high tide.” Those who have dug the tasty mollusk understand this.

7. Do not misuse the apostrophe. Remember, it’s cold outside, so the kitten wears its mittens.

8. Do not “center around” anything. The center is around nothing.

9. Do not say “12 p.m.” when you mean “12 noon.” The “m” is 12 noon, so there is no such thing as “12 p.m.”

10. Don’t play leapfrog with a unicorn. This applies to both genders.

Happy New Year!

Morton G. Soule

Latin teacher, Cape Elizabeth High School

Portland resident

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