On more than one occasion, my husband has shared his concern that I am cheating on him. I have never been unfaithful, nor have I ever given him any reason to think I would be. He’s worried because he knows my father was unfaithful to my mother many years ago. We both learned about it because my mother shared it while discussing my brother and his wife.
Having had no prior knowledge of this period in my parents’ lives, I was shocked. I didn’t grow up around it and was never taught that cheating is OK. How can I get my husband to stop putting me in the same category as my father?
He says he read that cheating is hereditary so I’m bound to do it. He throws the same accusation at me any time he gets upset with me. It’s starting to affect my hope for our future because I don’t think he will ever trust that I love him and don’t plan to commit adultery.
— NOT LIKE DEAR OLD DAD
DEAR NOT LIKE DEAR OLD DAD: I don’t know where your husband “read” that adultery is hereditary, but it’s time you asked to see the source of his misinformation because it’s wrong. You are not responsible for your father’s behavior, and for your husband to imply that because your father strayed you will is, frankly, insulting.
If you are accused of infidelity any time there’s a disagreement, you two aren’t getting to the root of what’s really wrong in your marriage, and it’s time to get professional marriage counseling.
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