DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my friends is a very open woman. She likes to talk about every aspect of her life and doesn’t think to notice who else is listening. At a cocktail party recently, she was talking about how she uses Nair on her husband’s back because they agreed he is too hairy. She then went on to say how great their bedroom life is. My other friend and I were shocked. Usually, we can just laugh about how “Carol” overshares, but I thought this was way too personal. I do not want to hear it.

I asked Carol how she thinks her husband would feel if he knew what she was saying about him, and she looked puzzled. She said, “Well, I only told you and a couple of other girls. There’s no way he’d find out.” I couldn’t carry on the conversation much longer, so I excused myself.

I know women always laugh about Carol’s ways, but I think they will begin to judge her negatively. I don’t want to infringe on Carol’s free speech, but I do want to remind her that not everybody is ready to hear such personal details. Is that overstepping my boundaries? I also do not want her to think I don’t support her – I just want to appropriately mingle at these events. – Against Oversharing, Milwaukee

DEAR AGAINST OVERSHARING: You didn’t ask Carol the right question. Don’t beat around the bush. Tell her that her intimate stories make you uncomfortable, and you don’t want to hear them. Add that when she shares them in public settings, it makes other people uncomfortable. Suggest that she stick to small talk when in public, and that she limit details about her personal life. Most people do not want to know.

• • •

DEAR HARRIETTE: This past Christmas, I got great gifts for my family. Specifically, I got my nephew a bunch of pricey athletic gear so he can look cool in the hallways and feel comfortable. When I was at my sister’s house, I saw his girlfriend wearing one of my gifts to him! When I mentioned that I recognized that sweatshirt, my nephew told me that it’s too small on him, so he’s letting “Annie” have it. She looked pretty pleased with her gift.

I cannot believe my gift was blatantly regifted. I think my nephew should have returned the gift to me if he didn’t like the size. Should I ask for my gift back? It was intended for him to wear. – Slap to the Face, Silver Spring, Maryland

DEAR SLAP TO THE FACE: It’s time to remember that when you give a gift, it should be given freely. You did not tell your nephew that you wanted him to give it back to you if it didn’t fit. Be happy that your gift helps him please his girlfriend. The same effect occurs. He feels cool because he can help his girlfriend feel cool.

Try your best to feel happy about that. He could have just stuffed it in a box in the back of his closet, and you would have been none the wiser. Consider this a good sign! He has a nice girlfriend, and you helped him make her happy.

— Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to [email protected] or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.