Anthony Weiner’s laptop computer is the perfect metaphor for this crazy presidential election. In it is Hillary Clinton’s email – and other disgusting stuff.

Weiner’s laptop was confiscated by the FBI in connection with charges he was sexting with an underage girl – after several other incidents of the disgraced congressman engaging in sexual misconduct. His laptop contains email that might be relevant to the FBI investigation of Clinton’s use of a private server because Weiner’s estranged wife is a top Clinton staffer. And then there’s everything else he does with it.

Maybe you’re relieved FBI Director Jim Comey took his unorthodox foray into the election in the final week. Maybe you’re one of those guys on the fence thinking you might vote for Trump because the hint of swagger in Clinton’s big hips drives you crazy and her pantsuits make you mad. Look, more email!

Clinton’s email on Weiner’s laptop – compared to what else?

We know after reading more than 55,000 of Clinton’s emails that she is kind of boring and cute – like when she lamented the loss of emojis, for instance.

“I’m quite bereft that I lost the emoticons from my latest (Blackberry),” wrote Clinton. “Is there any way I can add them?”

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And there’s the time she wondered about LinkedIn.

“How does this work?” Clinton asked her staff in an email. And like everyone over 50, she can’t resist puns.

Weiner can’t resist sex and is in rehab for his addiction. God help the FBI agent assigned to cataloging all the “files” on his laptop that are not Clinton emails. Not classified and not suitable for the kids.

Maybe your daughter or granddaughter or a neighbor is doing what it takes to be good and to get ahead. She’s learning to play beautiful music and speak a foreign language. She’s smart as a whip, hard-working, courageous, generous, trustworthy and earnest with a sense of humor – a real Miss America.

Now imagine explaining your vote for a guy who brags about barging in the dressing rooms of naked teenage pageant contestants.

“I’ll tell you the funniest is that I’ll go backstage before a show and everyone’s getting dressed,” Trump told Howard Stern in a 2005 recording released by CNN.

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“No men are anywhere, and I’m allowed to go in because I’m the owner of the pageant and therefore I’m inspecting it. … ‘Is everyone OK?’ You know, they’re standing there with no clothes. ‘Is everybody OK?’ And you see these incredible-looking women, and so I sort of get away with things like that.”

Stern replied, “You’re like a doctor.”

Inspecting it? Like a doctor? That’s horrifying – as is the potential of having this creep be elected president.

What could possibly be discovered in more of Clinton’s emails that could ever justify voting for such a churlish pig? It’s not like Clinton wasn’t doing her job out in public as secretary of state. We know where she went and every word she spoke on the world stage. We know what she did – and we liked it. In January 2013 when she stepped down, the Wall Street Journal reported:

“Secretary of State Hillary Clinton leaves the post as an overwhelmingly popular figure on the national political stage.

“An eye-popping 69 percent of Americans approve of the job she has done as the country’s top diplomat, according to the latest Wall Street Journal/NBC News poll, with a scant 25 percent disapproving of her performance.”

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Clinton wears pantsuits and sensible shoes because her work is hard and the bad boys unrelenting. As if fools like Weiner and Trump weren’t enough, she’s got Vladimir Putin’s grubby little hands messing with the election now, too.

A vote for Trump is a vote for everything else on Weiner’s computer that is disgusting. A vote for Trump is a vote for the creepy guy who peeks in your daughter’s dressing room. But even if you are tired of women complaining about pigs, what about the money? Is it the economy, or are we just stupid?

Trump has no plans for the economy except lowering taxes and ripping up trade deals. His management of the country will reflect the management of his affairs – something we must speculate about since he won’t show us his tax returns.

There’s only one reason Trump isn’t showing us his tax returns. He’s not as rich or as generous as he claims. He brags about how rich he is, and how generous, but he makes promises he doesn’t keep and avoids paying taxes by using other people’s money. Trump is the guy who runs up a big tab at the restaurant and gropes the waitress before skipping out without paying, and that’s not punny.

Cynthia Dill is a civil rights lawyer and former state senator. She can be contacted at:

dillesquire@gmail.com

Twitter: dillesquire


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