“The problem with your fennel is the waste,” she said to me.

The answer is easy if you use it like celery.

I’d like to help you in your quest to be waste free.

There must be 50 ways to love your fennel.

Most recipes just use bulbs that are neatly trimmed,

They leave flavorful stalks, cores and fronds to be wastefully binned.


But I can help you avoid this Green Plate Special sin,

As there are 50 ways to love your fennel.

Fifty ways to love your fennel.

Steam stalks under fish, Trish.

Or pickle them thin, Quinn.

Use fronds like you would dill, Bill.


Just please be waste free.

Drop trim in the stock, Brock.

They all taste like anise, Janice.

Try vodka infusion, Susan.

Just please be waste free.

Whiz fronds in a sauce, Boss.


Think crudité, Ray.

Whole slices on the grill, Bill.

Just please be waste free.

Sear in a pan, Fran.

Place stalks in a bloody, Mary.

Chop fine and brine, Carmine.


Just please be waste free.

She said it grieves me that this starts to hurt your brain

But eating more fennel aids in digestion with no pain

You’ll appreciate that so I will continue to explain

About the 50 ways to love your fennel.

Don’t fret if the trim sits in the fridge overnight


I believe in the morning you’ll begin to see the light

As you taste the licorice flavor, you’ll realize that I’m right

There are indeed 50 ways to love your fennel

Fifty ways to love your fennel.

Grind with sausage meat, Pete.

Poach cores in oil, Royal.


Sugar like candy, Andy.

Just please be waste free.

Give it a shave, Meave.

Mix it chopped with tuna, Luna.

Imagination is key, Lee

Then you’ll be waste free.”


CHRISTINE BURNS RUDALEVIGE is a food writer, recipe developer and tester, and cooking teacher in Brunswick, and the author of “Green Plate Special,” a cookbook from Islandport based on these columns. She can be contacted at cburns1227@gmail.com. ANDREW RUDALEVIGE is very funny as well as a very serious political science professor at Bowdoin College; he is married to Christine.

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