I believe anyone who has reached the age of 80 or so should own a Mickey Mouse watch. You will realize that each time you look at it, it makes you smile or even laugh. I ordered one for myself a few years ago, and it changed my life. But you must be aware – you will have to purchase it yourself, or relatives and friends will act like you asked for the moon.

There are other things we would enjoy, such as an emergency number to call to open those blasted plastic-wrapped things we need in our lives. Our poor old arthritic hands no longer do the job. The list of unopenable things gets longer every year. There should be a special code to hit if it happens to be the top to a bottle of juice, ketchup or maple syrup. Don’t forget the metal tops on olive oil bottles – they are evil.

That doesn’t even begin to touch the main problem. Every tool you purchase is in a sealed plastic cocoon that will keep the item rust free for life. Your only choice it to stick it in a vise and break out the chain saw.

Tried to open a pack of batteries lately? Not gonna happen. How about those vicious chip bags? They give up only when you least expect it, and chips rain everywhere. We should know better. That’s why they invented scissors. But they are never handy.

This situation occurred to me while watching my husband attack a plastic juice cap that wouldn’t give up. Had to go with a dangerous sharp knife to cut the seal. Fortunately, he is the smart one in the family, and he was successful. However, if things go wrong, this can mean a fast trip to the emergency room. It’s Murphy’s Law: If we can’t solve a problem, our old friend stupid takes over.

It is important to remember if bad things do happen, be sure to take the object you were trying to open with you to the ER. They have lots of sharp things handy and will be happy to help – if they can stop laughing after you tell them what you did.

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