WINDHAM — Windham resident and autism advocate Stephanie Lay was found dead in her home on Sunday, Feb. 16.

“It was very much a shock,” said close friend Diane Russell. “I had just spoken to her on Wednesday.”

The cause of her death is unknown.

“She definitely had a light in her soul,” said Lorraine Glowczak, a friend of Lay’s. “She faced a lot of difficulties and challenges, but she never let it stop her. She was unstoppable.”

Lay was well known in the community for her Maine-Tex grilled salsa, which she made with her son Bryce, who is severely autistic. The pair began making salsa together out of their home in 2014 and it is now sold in over 100 stores in Maine. Lay also opened a bistro in Gray in 2019 to sell salsa and other fare, but it has since closed.

“She was on track to take (the business) regional this year,” Russell said.

Russell hopes that friends can keep Lay’s business going, adding, “we did find her (secret) recipes buried in her paperwork.”

The salsa is made of grilled tomatoes, onions, peppers and a secret mix of spices, a recipe Lay created while living in her home state of Texas.

In a 2019 interview with the Lakes Region Weekly, Lay said that making the salsa helped Bryce immensely. He was put on medical marijuana at the age of 12 for self-injurious behavior, but now cooks all of his own meals and “does every aspect of this business except the jarring and the paperwork,” she said.

Tom Bartell, executive director of the Windham Economic Development Corporation, worked with Lay years ago as she got her salsa business up and running.

“She was really just passionate about her cause and her son Bryce and whatever she could do to improve his life,” he said. “Her drive was really exemplary when it came to the entrepreneurial spirit she had. It’s a great loss to me personally, but the loss of a really passionate entrepreneur in town is a loss for all of us.” 

Lay also founded a 501(3)c nonprofit organization called SPECIAL Foundation for Autism, which stands for Special Parents Establishing Connections in Autism Lives. The organization is her way “of using her personal experiences to help other parents navigate through the challenging world of autism,” according to its website.

“She was an incredible mother. She was so focused on advocating for her son,” Russell said. 

According to Russell, Bryce is doing OK and is being well taken care of.

“(Stephanie) had a plan in place for him,” she said. “He’s in good hands, and we have a good plan for him. Stephanie had assigned a guardian.” Russell has also been asked to serve as co-guardian for Bryce “to make sure that he’s protected for life.” She and the other guardian plan to have Bryce reside in a group home, where Lay had often told Russell she would like him to live. 

Meanwhile, Russell said the community is still reeling, and she has received condolences from people across the country: “Folks are really stunned.”

“Stephanie was an amazing woman. She was so beloved. She touched so many people’s lives,” she said.

“Her personality just absolutely created a family. There’s a support system around her,” Glowczak said.

Russell created a GoFundMe in Lay’s honor called “Support Final Expenses for Stephanie Lay.” It will be used for funeral expenses, cleaning her home and care for Bryce. As of Wednesday afternoon, it had raised $4,274.

Plans for a service will be announced soon, Russell said, but her friends are still stunned by the loss: “She went way too soon. It was completely unexpected.” 

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