We are all tired by this time in a “normal” year. The darkness bears down on us as the Earth tilts further away from the sun. Teachers and students yearn for a break after a constant stream of learning, growing and change. Some of us pattern ourselves after the Maine black bear – finding a cozy spot to hibernate for the long winter until the first signs of spring awaken our senses and nudge us back into the world.

But of course, this isn’t a normal year.

If you are feeling exhausted – not just the regular, end of year tired but deep in your soul, bone weariness – you are not alone. This year has brought with it more stress and chaos than most of us have ever experienced in a lifetime, let alone in 12 months. It’s extraordinary.

There has been so many crises that we have forgotten most of them. Our brains cannot keep up or we have chosen to block them out as a sanity-saving measure. Just to see if I could recall all of the things that had happened, I searched the internet for, “What bad things happened in 2020?” I was presented with a list of items, many of which I had forgotten because they had been displaced by the next worst thing. Do you remember the awful wildfires in Australia and the images of kangaroos in suburban neighborhoods from January? I didn’t either.

Who could have imagined that 2020 would bring a global pandemic? That over 304,000 people would die in the United States from COVID-19 during a nine-month period? To put it into context, it is as if every person in Cumberland and Sagadahoc Counties – poof. Gone.

Despite working at the Oasis Free Clinics, where masks, eye protection and hand sanitizer are the norm, there are days when I still can’t wrap my mind around it. Sometimes I leave my house without a mask, and then I am surprised that I could forget for even for a minute that we are living in the biggest health crisis of a generation. At the grocery store, on the rare occasion when I look up and around, I marvel at the changes – how quiet it has become now that no one chats with neighbors, the one-way traffic of carts in the aisles, the inability to smile your thanks to staff for their hard work. I wonder what the lasting impact will be when things go back to “normal.”

I also wonder what the long-term impact will be on our children and grandchildren. What will they remember and take from this time? My kids have started saying, “That makes me COVID uncomfortable,” when we watch a movie and there is a crowd of people on screen. I wonder if they, like children of the Great Depression, will stockpile food or toilet paper. Will they use this experience as the basis for amazing works of art or literature? How many of our children will become doctors or public health professionals because they watched Dr. Shah lead Maine with calm dignity and scientific reasoning? Maybe we will see the next generation of nurses arrive to fill the gap as nurses who have served so many for so long move into well-deserved retirement. I have hope that our children have witnessed the best in humanity throughout this pandemic, and it inspires them to do something for the greater good.

We know that in the short term, however, this is taking a significant toll on our children. Our community is aching for the loss of one of our young people. There are likely more who are struggling. We as humans are meant to be together, and this pandemic is challenging us in fundamental ways. It is essential that we check in with one another. Kindness, patience, and understanding are important now more than ever, even as it may be harder to give them. Every day, we each are making decisions about risks and benefits, individual and collective, short and long term – all for the health and safety of ourselves, families, co-workers, and communities. These are not easy decisions, and most of us do not make them lightly. At the end of the day, everyone is doing the best that they can with the resources they have. If we remember that, we will get through this together until our days become brighter, warmer and longer.

If you or someone you know is in crisis, call or text 1-888-568-1112.

Anita Ruff is the executive director of Oasis Free Clinics, a non-profit, no-cost primary care medical practice and dental clinic, providing exceptional, patient-centered care to uninsured members of our community. For more information, please call 721-9277 or visit www.OasisFreeClinics.org.Giving Voice is a weekly collaboration among four local non-profit service agencies to share information and stories about their work in the community.

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