Every group has a leader. Our leader is Deb.

As young wives, married to upwardly mobile men at Union Mutual, Deb and I became friends. Aside from the fact our husbands were climbing the corporate ladder, we had a lot more in common.

There is a chemistry that happens when you decide to become friends. It is not something you can conjure up, it’s either there or not.

We met because our husbands worked for the same company. I liked her immediately and wanted to know her better.

Back in the ’70s, dinner parties were the best way to foster relationships. We invited Deb and Doug for dinner. I wanted it to be perfect. Candles on the table, wine glasses appropriately placed, cloth napkins, the correct number of forks to the left of the plate – all in place. I think the menu included standing prime rib accompanied with baked potatoes and asparagus.

That evening was the beginning of a lifelong friendship. Years later, Deb told me she felt like she had walked into her own home.

Deb is one of those people everyone likes to be with who also loves to party. She is totally responsible for the formation of what we all affectionately refer to as “The Luncheon Group.”

Before marrying Doug, she had the opportunity to visit Nigeria, where she met Carol. Growing up in Bangor, she was friends with Barbara. Playing tennis with other Union Mutual wives brought in another layer of friends, many of whom were not “Union Mutual wives.” The chemistry she had with these women formed the foundation of our wonderful, blessed, fun loving group of women.

At some point she decided the best way for all of us to gather to socialize would be to host luncheons at our individual homes.

There are nine of us. A rotating monthly schedule filled our calendars. I loved every minute of this process because I love to cook. The unwritten rule was no children were part of Luncheon Day. This enabled us to just be together, enjoy a meal and share whatever our most recent important life events were. Christmas luncheons were rotated in order to share the workload.

As the years progressed, Deb started to host our yearly Christmas gathering at her house. It became an elaborate pajama party, complete with an afternoon chick movie in her home theater, followed by dinner in her meticulously appointed dining room.

These women hosted a baby shower for me before my daughter was born. Since I am now in what Deb refers to as “the last quarter,” that speaks to the length of these friendships.

These women have been my shoulders to cry on during a very painful divorce. Even though we don’t see each other every day, we all know each of us is just a phone call away. There are confidences which will never be betrayed.  There is the comfort of familiarity only years of knowing each other can provide.

How lucky are we to have had such a gifted leader? Thank you, Deb, from the bottom of my heart.

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