Do kids in school today still get in double dutch (remember that one?) if they say “ain’t”? We sure did. “Ain’t” was strictly forbidden. The stuff of detention. We were told it was a bad word, vulgar, common and simply not allowed. “Ain’t,” my haughty school principal Mr. Herrick would say imperiously back in the 1940s, “is not in the dictionary.”

Well actually Mr. Herrick, that wasn’t quite the truth. After hearing that statement from him for years, and also hearing it from his fellow educational toadies, I went home, pulled out my father’s enormous Random House Dictionary of the English Language, Unabridged, and took a look. Yep, to be sure, “ain’t” was definitely in there. I was horrified! Mr. Herrick and his loyal minions had been lying to me. Lying! I looked up “lying.” That was also in the dictionary.

I’ve done a bit of research on that common and coarse word, and find that “ain’t” ain’t so vulgar after all. In fact, it was used quite commonly in Shakespeare’s day, and even beyond, and whether El Bardo used it himself I’m not sure, but his pals and fellow thespians indeed did. Furthermore, it’s often used informally by educated speakers, often the Brits, it’s found in a great many songs, (lots even written by highly educated people — Cole Porter for example) and it’s used in a joking way by people who’d never at all consider themselves common.

“Ain’t” as everyone knows, is a derivative of the contractions, “am not, (sometimes legally used as “am’nt”,) are not (sometimes legally used as “an’t”) and of course “aren’t.” But, Mr. Herrick notwithstanding, “ain’t” is a perfectly good word and no one should look down upon anyone speaking it. It’s in the dictionary, after all, so everyone’s allowed to use it. Ain’t it a shame ain’t is spurned so?

Back in my day (cue the groans) there were other words we were not permitted to use. One was “fool.” That was way bad. Another was “liar.” To call someone a liar back then was a seriously serious offense, even if the person was one, and even if it could be proven.

But the most puzzling word we were not permitted to say back then was “can’t.” I know adults were trying to fill our recalcitrant little brains with a lot of motivational crapola by feeding us the malarkey that all things can be done, and there’s nothing on earth that can’t be done. But stating there was no such word as “can’t” was pure falsehood. I mean I heard them use it all the time! Especially on kids about to do a bad thing.

“No, no, you can’t do that!” was shouted, although it was frequently elongated to “cannot.” Mr. Herrick and his loyal entourage, along with my grandmother and parents, all told us kids that “can’t,” like “ain’t,” wasn’t in the dictionary. Again, I fired up the old Random House and yep, there it was. Can’t. Well, I guess the theory was that if you told a kid often enough they can do everything, they’ll grow up thinking that. Perhaps it was a tiny bit unrealistic, but hey, those were different times and perhaps, when we asked, emptying out the Atlantic Ocean with a teaspoon is actually doable. Who knows?

I well remember once being at my grandmother’s house, in her living room. She was in the kitchen, and I called out to her. “Grammie! Oh no! Something real bad has happened. I just can’t…”

“Tut tut tut tu-ut” she answered. (Grammie always had 4 tuts in her repertoire, the fourth always having a little segmentation to it, and was sort of sung.)

“Remember my darling,” she called out. “There’s no such word as ‘can’t.’ It’s not in the dictionary. You must never say that word! There is always a way to do absolutely everything, once you’ve set your mind to it,” she trilled.

“OK Grammie,” I trilled back, setting my mind to it. “I won’t say can’t anymore. I’m sure I can do this!”

“Good girl!” I heard her call back to me, pride in her voice, as I desperately tried to scrape that oil-based cobalt blue paint back into the can I’d just spilled on her brand new day-old pale lime green wall-to-wall carpet.

LC Van Savage is a local writer. Contact her at LCVS@comcast.net, or visit LCVanSavage.com.

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