Each and every one of us owe a huge thank you to Cindy Adams, the visiting New Yorker who recently wrote about her trip to the Pine Tree State in an article for the New York Post.
Brunswick resident Heather D. Martin wants to know what’s on your mind; email her at heather@heatherdmartin.com.
I’m guessing you’ve read it? Or maybe you’ve read about it? It is exactly the sort of ridiculous, over-the-top, out-of-state nonsense that is so strangely satisfying to mock, so let’s just take a look at her assessment (pun intended, you’ll see) of all of us who live here.
After referring to herself as a “world traveler” and name-dropping all the places she’s been in her illustrious life, she begins the insults. Well, first she manages to slyly slip in that she drives a BMW. We are all, I am sure, very impressed.
In this article, she calls us all fat. Like, really fat. “Locals whose behinds overlap the state of Texas all stuffed into shorts. Realtors could establish an entire campsite on the average ass,” later adding (as she impunes our fashion sense) “there’s not enough fabric on NYC’s Seventh Avenue to cover any local behind.”
That’s twice she mentioned our behinds. What are you doing spending so much time looking at our backsides, Cindy? Cheeky monkey.
As noted above, she also slams us for being fashion don’ts, noting “the concept of dressing is only for salad,” and “forget consignment shops because what they’re wearing is already consignment stuff.” She further notes that “L.L. Bean jeans, drawers, plaid shirts, crappy sweaters, sweats, sneakers and backpacks are considered black tie.”
Well, OK. Maine might not be the epicenter of runway fashion that her native NYC clearly is, but … that’s sort of the point. Perhaps she failed to notice it, but unlike Manhattan, we prefer our islands unpaved.
Going out on the water, clambering over rocks, or hiking a trail in haute couture and heels would be the true “fashion don’t.” Even the Rockefellers (who seemed to like it here just fine) knew that at times, a well-worn sweater is your best-dressed option.
Maybe she didn’t know what Maine is? I don’t know, she goes to great lengths to point out that her hosts’ “ancestors founded the state of Maine in the 1800s and are in its museums and histories,” so you’d think they’d have clued her in. I’m guessing they’re also regretting their invite.
Quick sidebar: She frequently refers to Maine as “sparsely populated,” but those of us who live here know that summer is another story. I’d love to know what empty roads she was on; traffic right now in my neighborhood is insane!
The entire state is currently flooded with people “from away” (and you polite ones are always welcome) adding vast numbers to our streets and beaches, so I’m just sayin’, not all those backsides and plaid shirts are on Mainers.
Taking into account that she is a gossip columnist, maybe she’s forgotten how to say kind or decent things. Also, apparently, she is 92! So it’s sort of impressive she’s writing her column at all. Go, her.
But in the end, again I think we owe her.
In these times of fractured society, stress and division, she has united us as one in amused indignation against a common foe: the entitled tourist from New York.
Thanks, Cindy. Job done.
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