While friends and neighbors are decking the halls and hanging mistletoe, many who have lost a loved one are reliving memories of Christmases past. Facing the holidays after losing a loved one is a nostalgic reminder of merrier times and can hark the herald of unending tears.

For those who are feeling a loss, allow yourself to try a handful of these tips to guide you through the emotional kaleidoscope. Above all, do what feels best to your heart, and self-gift with big doses of kindness and compassion.

Tip #1: Stick with a routine. A familiar routine offers a sense of reassurance that at least one thing in life hasn’t changed, and the familiarity can help us feel grounded. But if it feels too painful, then do what feels best to you in that moment.

Tip #2: Avoid packing the schedule. Grieving is emotionally exhausting; plenty of rest will help minimize raw nerves.

Tip #3: Cut yourself some slack, not your finger. Grieving is naturally distracting. Even the smallest kitchen disaster can quickly deplete coping skills. Buy store-bought when possible.

Tip #4: Skip the chaos. Turn off the computer, light a fragrant candle, grab a soft blanket, and binge-watch a good comedy. Take time to create peaceful surroundings to soothe your nerves.

Tip #5: Treat your senses to TLC. Each day acknowledge five things you can see, four things you can feel, three things you can hear, two things you can smell and one thing you can taste.

Tip #6: When the mood strikes. Give yourself permission to feel joy without guilt. The heart can hold both and it’s good for the spirit.

Tip #7: Honor the past. Find a way to include your loved one’s memory. Hang their stocking and fill it with cat toys or dog treats for the family pet, or pay it forward in your loved one’s name.

Tip #8: Volunteer. Do something in the community that lifts your spirits. It induces a “helper’s high.” That’s good for both the brain and the heart. It also reminds us we’re not alone in our struggles.

Tip #9: Seek support. Surround yourself with others who speak your loss language and fully understand how hard the holidays can be.

TIP #10: Cry. Give in to the tears. There is no shortage of raw emotions over the holidays, and a good cry can be cleansing and help release emotional buildup.

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