(In response to our March 1 story “Over a century since launching its famed boots, L.L. Bean sued over a ‘waterproof’ claim.”)

Let’s thank that lady from New York
Who shopped at Bean’s to her regret
Deep water caused her zippered boots
To make her little tootsies wet.

A refund with no questions asked?
That’s not enough for she.
Let’s lawyer up! Five million bucks!
The way that life should be.

This helps me see that I’ve got rights.
That fly gear that I bought …
The catalog claims “fishing rod”
But not one fish was caught.

They needed warning labels
Plastered on it, too
“YOU MIGHT NOT CATCH A FISH WITH THIS”
“SADNESS MAY ENSUE”

I want a New York lawyer
Can’t wait to litigate
For suffering Bean’s caused me
Five million bucks could set things straight.

Ford Reiche
Freeport