A friend of mine euthanized his dog yesterday. It was a very hard decision for him and his wife, as it is for most pet owners whose beloved companion has reached the last stage of their life. I have been a certified euthanasia technician for 15 years and have done hundreds of euthanasias for pet guardians and have been asked an untold number of times, “How do you know when it is time to let them go?”

I euthanized my heart dog, Helga, the very first dog I ever had, the first summer I lived in Maine. She was elderly, losing nerve function in her spine and was becoming incontinent. Like many pets, hers was a slow, nonlinear decline with better days and harder days that trended generally downward over time. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that it was time the day I came home at lunch to let her out and she was panting, pacing in circles, walking through her feces. Her distress was so significant that it broke my heart. She was a meticulously clean dog, she would never, ever potty in the house. The one time she had an accident when she was younger, I came home to her sitting in the corner, refusing to come out until I had cleaned up the mess.

I knew that her condition was progressive. Could our veterinarian have kept her alive longer? Absolutely, but that was not the big question for me; I was more concerned with her quality of life. I wanted her to be happy and fulfilled, not just existing, and we had passed that point.

What I have learned from all the pet guardians I have talked to about euthanasia is that everyone’s balance point of alive versus quality of life for their pets is different. I tend to err on the side of sooner, not wanting my pets to suffer unduly. Other folks want to give their pet every last opportunity to have another day. Neither answer is right and neither answer is wrong. I tell people that they know their pets best and I trust that they know and see things that someone who doesn’t live with and love them would not. Another person would not have understood how out of character Helga’s behavior was that day or known how limited her interest in formerly favorite activities had become. I needed my vet to believe me that it was time, and she did, without question. Many pets’ families have needed reassurance from me in the same way over the years, and I have been happy to give them that bit of peace.

The right time is when your gut says your pet is ready to go.

Jess Townsend is executive director of Midcoast Humane.

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