RJ and Warren get together for about an hour a week to play games, go for hikes and golf, spending simple, positive time together.

Nine-year-old Warren had waited for 128 days, counting down eagerly for a Big Brother to share his love of video games and adventures. Living in a single-parent household with his mom, Warren yearned for a male role model. His wish was finally granted in November 2022 when he was matched with RJ through Big Brothers Big Sisters of Bath/Brunswick.

While Warren’s story has a happy ending, many other children continue to wait for a Big Brother, sometimes for years. Regardless of gender, one in three kids in America is growing up without a positive adult mentor. The gap between mentorship and the youth who need it most continues to widen due to perceived barriers of the time and expertise required to become a mentor.

BBBS of Bath/Brunswick is experiencing this mentorship gap in the Midcoast. The number of applications from parents continues to grow, while the number of applications from mentors is decreasing. For Little Brothers, it’s even more dire. Only two out of every ten inquiries to volunteer come from men.

Studies have shown that growing up without a consistent male figure can have lasting consequences, including increased risks of poverty, abuse and dropping out of school. But the power of mentorship can turn these statistics around, bringing hope and optimism.

Big Brothers Big Sisters has proven a powerful antidote to these challenges. Research shows that over 96% of Littles in the program make positive choices, such as avoiding drugs, violence and skipping school. Their grades improve, their confidence soars and they develop a brighter outlook on life.

Warren’s mom, Barbara, is incredibly grateful for the positive impact RJ has had on her son. “Warren has always been a kind, funny, sweet kid, but with RJ, he’s gained confidence and tried new things,” she said.

RJ and Warren add another layer of fun to hikes and walks, acting out Zelda video games with sticks as swords.

RJ incorporates lessons into his outings in a “natural, fun way,” Barbara said, such as challenging Warren to conquer his fear and anxiety by doing a ropes course or practicing math while building a bookshelf together. RJ has also gotten Warren involved in the library’s summer reading challenge to boost his reading skills. Through golf, RJ is helping Warren have patience in getting good at the sport, and while hiking – something Warren says he had never done before – the two act out Zelda video games with sticks as swords to create interest and fun while building a lifelong habit of physical exercise. The two even tackled the Royal River Conservation Trust 400-footer hiking challenge – climbing to the peak of 10 destinations in the local area.

“Warren is a great kid. He’s sharp and witty,” said RJ. “He’s such a smart kid, and I don’t think he thinks he’s smart, so I’m working to build that confidence. And I get to have fun hiking, building things and seeing movies I wouldn’t necessarily make time for in my busy day-to-day.”

Barbara said that the fun they have together has been life-changing for Warren, but the true impact of the relationship has come from consistency. “RJ is always there for Warren,” she said. “He is always dependable, which isn’t something Warren has had a lot of in his life.”

Warren and RJ at the top of Bradbury Mountain during a winter hike.

RJ believes the lack of potential Bigs is due, in part, to most people thinking they don’t have time to become a mentor. “But becoming a Big Brother is easier than you might think,” he said. The organization’s Community-Based program offers flexibility with two to four visits a month, while the School-Based “Lunch Buddy” program takes just 45 minutes a week, “less than your favorite TV show,” RJ said. “And you don’t need any special skills to be a Big. You just need to show up.”

RJ and Warren’s friendship will be honored as they receive the Big and Little of the Year Award at the 2024 Big Night Out fundraiser on Friday, November 1 at the Maine Maritime Museum. The event raises the funds needed to match more children like Warren with mentors.

To learn more about the program and how to become a Big, visit bbbsbathbrunswick.org.