My initial experience as a counselor was part of a master’s degree program at the University of Southern Maine. It provided a path that I am still on today after more than 35 years. I was required to engage in weekly one-hour counseling sessions with a number of clients for a full semester. Some of these clients had sexual abuse histories.
After graduation, I began working at a substance abuse and mental health agency. This was a tremendous opportunity to work with men and women suffering from alcohol and drug addiction. What I witnessed right away was how many of them were victims of sexual assault. Their stories were hard to hear. But it wasn’t just the stories, it was the lifelong effects of their experiences. Depression, addiction, self-harm and constant fear and anxiety were common among them. A deep underlying feeling of shame and worthlessness was often present. Other consequences of their abuse included broken and difficult relationships and underemployment. Many of you reading this may fully understand what I am writing about. You have experienced it firsthand; you have to live with the awful memories and nightmares.
To better understand the gravity of sexual assault it is important to fully grasp the nature of the sexual abuse perpetrator.
Abusers are often in a position of power such as parent, teacher, priest, minister, coach, work supervisor or employer – the list goes on. The important thing to realize and fully appreciate is that abusers take advantage of their positions and exert their perceived power over their victims. Abusers do not care about the fear and pain they inflict on others. They only care about themselves and their enjoyment at the expense of their victims. They have no shame.
Former President Donald Trump is a perpetrator of sexual abuse. He has bragged about it on national television and has been found liable in civil court. He has been accused by many and believes he could get away with any act because of who he is.
What is astounding to me is how many of our citizens and neighbors are willing to overlook his depraved behavior. So many wives, mothers, sisters, husbands and brothers think this is no big deal. Think of the message this sends to their children. With regard to Trump’s behavior, how can fathers, grandfathers, brothers and male friends who support him look at the women in their lives and say: “It’s OK, I can live with that.”
Do they not understand what it means to have the mindset of a perpetrator in the role of president of the United States? Do they really think Trump cares about them? He does not.
There are too many reasons to not vote for Donald Trump to mention here. I am focused on an issue that is close to my heart. For years I have witnessed the pain of sexual assault victims and their struggle to overcome and transcend the effects of their experiences. Seeing the signs and support for Trump is like watching people spitting in their faces.
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