Our beloved state is currently embroiled in a loud and fractious feud. I wish we weren’t, but we are.

A disclaimer: If you have questions, or are genuinely engaged in sorting your way through this issue, I welcome your conversation and I promise to engage in it without rancor. If, however, you are inclined to simply yell and hurl invective… well, I simply won’t be reading it. Life is short.

Currently, we are in a showdown between the federal and state government. A significant amount of much-needed funding hangs in the balance.

This whole thing started with an elected representative “outing” an underage student who that representative believes to be transgender.

Midcoast resident Heather D. Martin wants to know what’s on your mind; email her at heather@heatherdmartin.com.

Whether the student is, or is not, doesn’t matter.

The representative claims it is about her right to free speech. It isn’t.

If that child had, for example, committed a grisly murder, robbed a bank or committed some other crime, their name and image would have been withheld by law. But because this minor was busy just living their life in a way that representative deemed unacceptable, she felt justified in posting the minor on social media, exposing them to potential violence, threats and harassment.

Our youth deserve better than that. Our youth deserve to be protected. So do our grown-ups.

Now, if the issue were genuinely about fairness in sports (it isn’t), that would spark my curiosity. The current system is old. Times have changed in lots of ways. I bet that we, as a nation, could scrap the whole thing, sit down and create a new system that is better all around. We are actually pretty good at solutions once we take the heat out of the conversation. We can create a new and better way.

The fact that the conversation is being wound around the issue of transgender people is unfortunate. It seems to inspire a lot of fear, which comes out as “ugly.” We are not showing our best selves.

First, there seems to be a sense that making room for all types of people to exist will somehow cause others to morph into someone else against their will. I’ve never actually seen that happen.

People are who they are. Every transgender person I know has told me they knew who they were at a young age. And I believe them. Just as I believe my straight friends, and gay friends, and friends who have allergies.

Who we are is not a “choice.” Not for any of us. Our choice is about whether we pretend to be someone we’re not, or let others see who we truly are. That comes down to safety. Wouldn’t that be a lovely thing if everyone felt safe to be themself?

I’ve also heard the word “unnatural” bandied about – and that is simply incorrect. Nature is full of examples of changing genders. Clownfish, bearded dragons and sea snails are maybe the most famous, but the spotted hyena is worth a mention as well. Lots of species are able to change their gender completely – even well into their lifespan.

Humans not being able to do so autonomously is not an argument against it, either. After all, our inability to grow new teeth like sharks can is why we created dentists. Like I said, we are good at solutions.

However, none of this is the real issue.

What is really at stake here is the Constitution. Specifically, “ArtI.S8.C1.2.6 Anti-Coercion Requirement and Spending Clause,” which is pretty clear that withholding funds from a state in order to coerce or force specific behavior is illegal.

The threat, explicitly tied to funding, made by the president against our governor – and all of us who live here – is flat-out unconstitutional. States’ rights (oh, the irony) were established to prevent such abuses of power.

Therefore, I offer up (again) my heartfelt thanks to Gov. Janet Mills for standing up and ensuring our Constitutional protections remain in place, that rule of law remains the governing principle, and that we are all afforded our rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.