DEAR HARRIETTE: I broke up with my boyfriend a little less than a year ago because of his drug addiction. He spiraled so far down that he got arrested, had a $100,000 bail and got kicked out of school. We lost contact because I did not want to see him throw his life away. Now he is on parole and gets tested multiple times a week, so he cannot drink alcohol or use drugs. We have reconnected, and started dating again. I love him when he is sober, but the drug tests won’t last forever. Should I tell him it’s me or the drugs? – Sober Society, Detroit

DEAR SOBER SOCIETY: Drug addiction is an insidious disease that can easily show its face again and again, even in people who make huge efforts to be sober. That does not mean that if your boyfriend has been a drug addict, that you should simply walk away. Life is not that simple – nor is love. Given that you have reconnected with this man, it must mean that you care deeply for him. I suggest that you take it very slowly. While you are choosing to spend time with him, be mindful of his parole. Consider that your levels of intimacy will move slowly, too. There is no need for you to be all in immediately, especially given that even the terms of his freedom are conditional now.

Take your time. Be a great support for him. And make it clear to him what your values and expectations are. If you are willing to walk away from the relationship completely if he does not stay clean, tell him. Explain that you are willing to forgive him once, but you are unwilling to be a serial forgiver. You want your man to be strong and clean and prepared to move forward in life. If that’s who he wants to be, then you are in.

Do know that he should remain in some type of treatment or support group so that he will remain clean.

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DEAR HARRIETTE: My girlfriend’s cat is getting very old, and I think it is time they put it down. The cat can barely walk, is blind and is practically deaf. The family loves it too much to see that it is suffering. They have no experience putting down a pet, but I do, and I think they should consider it. Are there any hints I could drop about euthanasia, or should I let the family come to terms on their own? – No More Pain, Salt Lake City

DEAR NO MORE PAIN: It was once common for families to euthanize their animals, and it was an open type of conversation. Times have changed dramatically now, and it is almost considered taboo in some circles.

Tread lightly. You may want to tell your own family’s story. Talk about your family pets and what happened during the end of their lives. If you have a story that could directly relate to this cat, share that – without judgment. You can explain that your veterinarian recommended euthanasia for particular reasons. Tell them that this is often considered a humane option. But don’t press. They must make their own decision.

— Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to [email protected] or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.