DEAR HARRIETTE: I believe my friend, “Anna,” is making up a dairy allergy. When we are at restaurants, she makes a scene about how nothing can be cooked in butter or coated with cheese. However, if we go out for ice cream or desserts, she has no problem eating soft serve and chocolate crepes! I would never call her out in a public situation, but I think she is just embarrassing herself by claiming to have a dairy allergy and not actually knowing what that entails. Should I let her in on what ice cream is actually made of or let this embarrassment play itself out? – Attention Hog, Boston

DEAR ATTENTION HOG: By all means, pull your friend aside in private, and ask her if you can give her some feedback. It’s good to get permission before you go in on folks so that they know some kind of criticism is on the way. Tell her that you have noticed how she dramatically points out the dairy products she cannot eat at restaurants, while she also eats other dairy items. Suggest that she figure out more specifically what her allergies are so that she can honor her body at all times. You can also recommend that she make a little card that lists her food allergies to give to the waiter when she goes to a restaurant so that the message gets across without the need to include members of your dining party in on her eating limitations.

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DEAR HARRIETTE: I am preparing for my first move out of the house. I am moving five hours away, into my own home, but I feel unsupported by my family. It is clear I need help I don’t have my own mode of transportation yet, or any furniture yet no one is stepping up to help me. I barely have time to borrow my mother’s car to get kitchen supplies before she needs it to go out to yoga or dinners. I feel so overwhelmed and unprepared. How can I make this move easier on myself? – Unfurnished and Unprepared, Atlanta

DEAR UNFURNISHED AND UNPREPARED: It could be that your family is giving you a taste of what living on your own will be like. Rather than being angry, take on this challenge from that perspective. After all, whether they help you or not, you are moving, so you have to figure it out. How can you get to your various destinations without help? What is the public transportation like? Do you have friends who may be willing to pitch in and help? What is your plan for furnishing your new place? You must figure out the steps to fulfilling your life. Now is your time to demonstrate to yourself that you can be independent and pave your way for the future.

As it relates to your family’s lack of support, they may also not want you to leave. Separation at any age can be difficult. Instead of being angry or hurt, let them know how much you love them and that this move is important to you, but you intend to stay close to them.

— Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to [email protected] or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.