DEAR HARRIETTE: I hosted a birthday party for my child recently. It was a mix of adults and children, because I knew from experience that parents would be more likely to bring their children if I entertained them as well.

At one point in the party, I was walking the children down the block after playing soccer. I overheard my 10- year-old son bragging about the properties “he” owns and pointing them out on the street. Although it is true that my husband owns a few buildings in our neighborhood, my son was acting like he was the richest boy in all the land. Before I had a chance to correct him, I saw some of the kids in the group roll their eyes at my son. I felt horrible.

I don’t know how my son became so obsessed with money and belongings. How do I start this conversation with him? I fear it might be too late to change him, but I want to bring awareness to him. – Not About the Money, Tampa, Florida

DEAR NOT ABOUT THE MONEY: In private, ask your son why he was telling the children about you family’s properties. Gently probe to find out why he felt the need to show off in that way. Tell him what you observed, namely the children rolling their eyes. Point out that the reason you are telling him about his friends’ reaction is so he can understand that when people brag about their possessions – or really anything that they have – others do not usually appreciate it.

Explain that it is a blessing for your family to have properties and to have whatever possessions and money you may have acquired, but that this is a private topic for the family to discuss, not to share with friends – even if the friends brag about their stuff on other occasions. As the host of his birthday party, his job was to make his guests feel comfortable, not to pump himself up.

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DEAR HARRIETTE: I speak three languages. I am eager to begin learning a fourth at some point in life, but for now I have three. I don’t look like a native speaker of my languages – other than English – so people tend to be surprised if I smile or overhear a part of their conversation when they don’t expect me to know the language. Am I being rude by reacting to their conversation? I don’t want to seem like an eavesdropper! – Hush-Hush, Denver

DEAR HUSH-HUSH: If the conversation is friendly and not too personal, it should be fine for you to say something in the language being spoken so that you do not seem like an eavesdropper. In this way, you can be included in the discussion – or not. If you overhear something rude being said about someone present or otherwise inappropriate, that is also a time when you can defend the defenseless by saying something in the language.

Too often people allow others to make fun of those who do not understand what they are saying. You can be the person who speaks up to support or defend others as well as the one who speaks up to let others know you can easily join the conversation.

— Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to [email protected] or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.