DEAR ABBY: I never thought I would be a cathater. My 70-year-old parents are very active, but ever since they brought home two cats, they are no longer willing to travel out of town. That means they are now missing many family events — Thanksgiving, graduations, funerals, etc. Christmas and Easter are spared because we all travel to see them on those occasions.

I am becoming resentful that their cats are more important to them than spending time with their siblings, children or grandchildren. And, NO — they will not put them in a cat hotel or have someone come into their home to watch them. Suggestions?

— RESENTFUL IN SANTA BARBARA

DEAR RESENTFUL: The problem with resentment is that it can fester to the point that it destroys relationships. Has it occurred to you that there may be other reasons your parents no longer want to make these trips? The stress and expense, for instance? Or concern about spending a lot of time driving on freeways? It’s also possible that two family visits a year are all they can handle.

One way to lessen your frustration would be to resolve to accept your parents just the way they are — and also accept that it’s unlikely they are going to change.

DEAR ABBY: I recently got into an argument with my mom regarding her speakerphone. I’ve also argued with other family members and friends over this. I believe it is rude to not let someone know that they are on speakerphone, particularly when others are present.

I feel it violates trust and the sense of intimacy that comes with speaking to the person you intended to call in the first place. Mom says it depends on the topic and that a “Heads up! You’re on speakerphone” isn’t necessary. Who’s right?

— SPEECHLESS IN THE WEST

DEAR SPEECHLESS: You are. When someone makes a phone call, the caller usually expects that the conversation will be private. However, since you now know your mother doesn’t agree, either stop confiding anything that you wouldn’t reveal in a roomful of relatives, or ask at the beginning of the conversation whether the speaker is on so you’ll be forewarned.

DEAR ABBY: I’m 67 and I like sex. My wife doesn’t. She has no drive. It may be health-related, maybe due to meds. She has no time; she’s a workaholic.

I met a widow who is very tempting. She suggested a “no strings” hookup. I’m starting to think it’s not adultery if my wife is sexless. Your thoughts, Abby?

— PENNSYLVANIA SENIOR 

DEAR SENIOR: I’m glad you asked. Take a pass on the widow’s generous offer. Her “no strings” hookup sounds like a snare that could hang you if the Mrs. gets wind of it.

Your wife’s lack of sex drive may be due to any of the things you mentioned. It could also be that your technique needs improving. Ask her if that might be the problem. If it is, a sex therapist could help you fix that in a jiffy. And it would be cheaper in the long run than what you’re contemplating.

DEAR ABBY: After a year of separation and divorce, I have decided to dip into the online dating world at 45. My plan was to carefully select three to five men over the next few months and just date, without diving into a relationship or into bed.

To my surprise, the first man I met, “Darren,” is a great guy. He treats me wonderfully, is respectful, makes me laugh, and I love spending time with him. Now I’m no longer interested in meeting anyone else. But I am forcing myself to stick to “the plan.”

Darren is aware of this. He respects my decision, but says he’ll convince me to choose him. Am I making a mistake by continuing to date others? I have real feelings for Darren and feel awkward about continuing with my plan. I think I should guard my heart. Perhaps dating others will help me take things more slowly. Any thoughts?

— CAUTIOUSLY OPTIMISTIC

DEAR OPTIMISTIC: If you hadn’t met someone as compatible as Darren, I would say full speed ahead with your plan. But if you feel awkward going out with others, then you shouldn’t be doing it.

This is not to say you should rush into anything with Darren. It takes time to really get to know someone. Take the time because in the early months of a relationship, both parties are in the “selling” phase. You can always decide to go back to Plan A.

DEAR ABBY: My sister “Diane” lives across the country and is an active alcoholic. I have been sober for 13 years, with the exception of a relapse in 2012. I have an 11-year-old daughter.

In addition to the alcoholism, Diane is in an abusive marriage. I have seen it firsthand when I visited her. During each of these visits we have argued, she and her husband have fought, and Diana has drunk heavily.

I have decided to not expose my daughter to my sister’s drama. It was sad and stressful for me when I witnessed it. Diana is hurt and now refuses to speak to me. Did I make the right decision?

— SAFE & SOBER IN OAKLAND

DEAR SAFE & SOBER: I’m sorry your sister is hurt, but as a parent, it’s up to you to decide what you want your impressionable daughter to see. That you don’t want her to be exposed to your alcohol-addled sister interacting with her abusive husband seems like a sensible choice to me. Yes, you made the right decision, and you should stick with it.

DEAR ABBY: I recently started dating a woman I have been friends with for a few years. She’s smart, funny, has many wonderful qualities, and I’m starting to fall in love with her.

She’s attractive — except for one thing that could easily be fixed. I don’t know if I’m being shallow, so if that’s the case, please tell me. She has a bit of a mustache.

Is there a way I can tactfully ask her to remove it without hurting her feelings? Or should I just be grateful I found someone who wants to be with me and keep quiet?

— TACTFULLY CHALLENGED

DEAR CHALLENGED: If you and this lady have been friends for years, you should know each other well enough to level with each other. Because the mustache is “distracting,” ask her why she has never done anything about it. However, if she opts to keep it, you’ll have to love her just as she is.

Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com