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DEAR HARRIETTE: I do not like to bring social media into relationships because I feel like it is a bit childish. However, my girlfriend has recently done something that bothers me. On a Facebook post, one of her ex-boyfriends commented, “I miss you.” On that same post, one of my friends commented and my girlfriend responded with a kissy face towards him. I tend to not read into social media too much, but my girlfriend is acting like she’s single, especially on this post. She ignored the exboyfriend’s comment, but I was still rubbed the wrong way that she didn’t delete it. My girlfriend hasn’t said anything about the post and I haven’t brought it up. I am not sure if I am being dramatic or have the right to be suspicious about the whole thing. Why is she being so flirtatious and leaving up messages from exes on her posts when she’s dating me? – Puzzled, Westchester, New York

DEAR PUZZLED: Rather than blowing this out of proportion, speak directly to your girlfriend. Tell her that her ex-boyfriend’s post made you uncomfortable and that you don’t know why she left it up – or why she posted a kissy face at her friend. Tell her that it makes you feel like she is flirting with him, which disturbs you.

Ask her if she misses this fellow. Probe to see where she feels you two are in your relationship. This could be “innocent” flirtation with the push of a button, but without much thought. Or it could point to a bigger issue. Talk to her so you can find out.

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DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a professor who is driving me up the walls. He does not respond to emails and does not return papers. He makes us chase him down and is incredibly rude when I ask if I can come in during his office hours. He makes promises to me he does not keep, and is generally an unpleasant man. I will be his student until May, so I need to figure out a way to communicate with him. I want to make sure I do not snap at him. How can I ask him to respect my time by handing back my assignments and allowing me to meet with him? – Lacking Respect, Syracuse, New York

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DEAR LACKING RESPECT: If your overtures have not worked at all, you may need to go to your adviser or the head of the department for guidance. When you do so, be mindful that you are asking for help in order to build a relationship with the professor rather than tell on him. With intervention, you may be able to get an audience with him. If so, let him know how much you need his input in order to excel in his class.

While he may be angry at first that you went above his head, hopefully your eagerness to learn and grow in his class will inspire him to give you a little time.

— Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to [email protected] or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.


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