At Planned Parenthood of Northern New England, we are convinced that more public talk about sexual health – not less – is what is required to counteract the pervasive and often-negative influences of our highly sexualized popular culture. That said, the recent community discourse played out on the editorial pages of The Current – spirited conversation about what kids need and deserve – is a reflection of our beliefs and our mission as it relates to the young people and parents we serve.

We have a sex-saturated popular culture where sex is used to sell everything and anything; yet, ironically, it’s difficult to engage in community-wide discussions about healthy adolescent sexual development. Many people feel awkward or embarrassed to talk about sexuality in public, some are concerned that bringing up the subject will create controversy within their community, a few think it’s not an appropriate public topic, and still others feel unsteady about their own knowledge, communication skills, or even beliefs when it comes to teens and sex.

Many adults that grew up in the 1960s and 1970s thought they’d do better than their parents when it came to this issue and their own children. But then the Internet, increasingly sexual TV shows and movies, X-rated song lyrics, and MTV changed the playing field…again. Parents may not want to give their children the same old negative messages about their bodies, their sexuality, or teen relationships that might have been given to them, but that doesn’t automatically create comfort with the sexually charged culture that today’s youth must navigate.

Truth is, while our approaches to these concerns may differ, we have so much more in common than what separates us; all parents want what is best for their kids, and no adult wants their child to make unhealthy and unsafe decisions. Adults that work with young people want them to be informed and well educated while also being safe and careful. For the most part, we’re all looking to find healthier, more positive messages for kids that balance simply talking about the negative consequences of sex on the one hand (“sex is dirty, save it for someone you love”), with the “if it feels good, do it” message on the other.

Planned Parenthood of Northern New England recently honored Superintendent Michaud for creating opportunities for dialogue/debate about health education for young people in his community. For the record, none of our staff spoke at any Scarborough school board meeting where local curriculum was discussed, nor do we have a policy in support of particular “demonstrations.”

We do, however, believe that young people need information and skills to manage the astonishingly complex world of adolescence. We believe in telling young people about the benefits of abstinence while also providing the medically accurate, age-appropriate health information they can use to protect themselves if they’re having sex already. There is everything right with encouraging teens to delay sex and respect themselves and their bodies, and there’s everything wrong with deliberately censoring medically accurate information that young people could use to stay safe and healthy.

As communities, we need to commit to the health and well being of all young people, including those who choose to delay sex, the 50 percent of high school students who say they’re sexually active, and those who have been raped or sexually abused and had no choice about sex. When our educators teach about sexual health or contraceptive methods to any group, there are no assumptions about “who needs the information and who doesn’t.” The fact is, almost everyone will need this information at some point in their reproductive lives.

Right now, three out of 10 American girls become pregnant before age 20 (a rate far higher than that of any industrialized country), HIV remains an ever-present danger, and other sexually transmitted infections are on the rise. Age-appropriate, medically accurate sex-education programs – supported by the American Medical Association, the American Academy of Pediatrics, and the Society for Adolescent Medicine – have demonstrated positive results in delaying sexual initiation, reducing the frequency of sex, and increasing contraceptive use among teens. Maine – with a strong family planning system and learning results that support comprehensive sexual health education – is a case in point. We are a national leader for our comprehensive and sustained efforts that have significantly reduced teen pregnancy and abortion rates.

Parents are the primary sexuality educators for their children, both by what they say and do, and what they don’t say and do. The majority of parents support sexual health programs in schools because they want help teaching the information and decision-making skills that will affect the rest of their kids’ lives. To be effective and worthwhile, educating young people about healthy sexuality and relationships should happen at home, in schools, in faith communities, and with the help of our media, and the public.

Our sexuality is a basic part of our humanity, not something to be feared, ignored, or avoided. At Planned Parenthood of Northern New England, we think we’ll begin to bridge the gap that separates us by creating opportunities for open, honest, and balanced talk within communities, where parents can connect with and learn from each other, youth-serving professionals, and teens themselves.

We honored Superintendent Michaud for taking a bold stand on behalf of health education for young people in his community. And by publicly welcoming our recent Mover and Shaper Award, he took another bold step toward continuing this important conversation.

Catriona McHardy is vice president of education and training for Planned Parenthood of Northern New England.