Gilmore Hilton read the satirical essay “A Modest Proposal” by Jonathan Swift and declared it an effective piece of literature.

The satire called for the systematic killing of Irish children for the benefit of the English aristocracy. Gil was shocked when a vacationing Yale professor said that some of the English genteel actually thought it was a good idea.

Asked to write his own satire, Hilton said, “I don’t need to. In fact, I hear about the exposure of human faults, follies and vices weekly here at the store.”

He went on to say that his friend Jack received a T-shirt from a little girl at a sports camp he runs for the town’s recreation department. The present was gift-wrapped neatly in a box from Jordan Marsh, but the innocent youngster slipped, “Mom got the T-shirt at a garage sale last week.”

Gilmore knows a business owner who changes the grade of the product on the sales agreement, but he uses such a tactic only if the buyer is in a low income bracket. “The poor never notice such things.”

His favorite example of trenchant wit involved his own trust. A bachelor, he had numerous relationships, but one had navigated some stormy seas but still he thought he could find a safe harbor. He trusted Camilla and called her home, but a man’s voice said, “You must have the wrong number.” Confronting Camilla the next day, he was disappointed, “Come on; no games.” Without much thought, the startled Camilla said, “Well last night when you called and got the wrong number.”

Gilmore chuckled and quoted Sir Walter Scott, “Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive.”

Morton Soule teaches Latin at Cape Elizabeth High School. He can be reached at [email protected].