DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a serious problem with remembering people’s names. I have never been good at holding on to names in my head. Over the years, what with my work in public office and all, where I meet hundreds of people every year, I really don’t know who the people are sometimes. I have tried to do the word tricks that experts have come up with, but to little success. Usually I get around it, but sometimes I run into people who will even ask me, “Do you know who I am?” At least half the time I do not. What can I do when I am stuck in this embarrassing situation? – Can’t Remember, Denver

DEAR CAN’T REMEMBER: Sadly, I know your pain. I have always been challenged remembering people’s names. I sometimes don’t remember exactly who someone is when I run into them. Generally, though, I recognize when I know people. With that in mind, I can tell you what I do.

I believe that what is most important is to acknowledge people. Greet them warmly. Make eye contact. Shake hands or give a hug, whichever feels right for you and that person in that moment. If you remember who the person is and why you know each other, say something that connects you both to that shared experience. If you recall the last time you saw each other, bring up that moment.

I sometimes ask people to remind me of their name. When I am out and about with others, I let my friends know that I often have what my daughter calls “brain farts” when it comes to names, so they help me with introductions to reduce any discomfort.

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DEAR HARRIETTE: I have noticed that a lot of people I know are really negative. It’s worse than the glass is half empty idea. Whenever we talk, all I hear from two of them specifically is what’s going wrong, how horrible life is, what somebody did to upset them. It’s like a constant drone of bad stuff. I don’t want to listen to that anymore. Well, I never really wanted to listen to it, but I was trying to be a good friend and not judge. Now I realize I can’t fill my head with that talk and those thoughts. I don’t want to just dump my friends. What can I do to change the course of our friendship? – Choosing Happiness, Dallas

DEAR CHOOSING HAPPINESS: I recently spoke to a good friend who is almost 80 years old. The occasion was the death of another friend. This woman acknowledged the lost life, and then after a few minutes, graciously said, “OK, now let’s talk about something uplifting.” She easefully changed the subject and introduced a palate cleanser of sorts, making it possible for us to pivot to safer ground.

You can introduce pivot turns into your conversations with naysayers. Literally, you can change the subject. If necessary, you can say, “I want to talk about something happy now.” Then introduce a new topic. You can also say, “I’m sorry but I don’t want to talk about anything upsetting, sad or gossipy right now. Sorry.” If the person continues, you can physically leave the conversation.

— Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to [email protected] or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.