DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been a regular at the town deli for years. The men behind the counter know my name and are always very friendly. Recently, they have stopped charging me for my drink and give it to me for free. The first time it happened, I thanked them and took the drink, expecting it to never happen again. Now, every time I come in, the drink is free. I don’t know whether I am supposed to accept this gift or graciously contest it until they allow me to pay. What do I do? – Drink Dazed, Seattle

DEAR DRINK DAZED: It is the practice of some retailers to show gratitude to regular customers by giving them small tokens of appreciation, such as a free drink or a discount on a purchase. This is considered a courtesy that tends to be offered to special customers. Your town deli operators are likely offering you this same courtesy. What you may want to do in order to feel more comfortable is to purchase other items to go along with your drink. If they attempt to give those to you as well, put your foot down and tell them that you absolutely must pay for them. You have been a regular customer for years, and you want to continue that tradition, which means you have to be able to buy something. Say this with a smile so it does not come off as a confrontation. Speak with strength so that they know that, as the customer, you remain in charge of yourself.

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DEAR HARRIETTE: For my birthday this year, I asked my immediate family to gift me money if they chose to give me a present. I am in my 20s, and I am very picky. I very rarely enjoy gifts if I am surprised with them. As I was opening my presents, I saw that my stepfather had given me a necklace that I did not care for at all. I pretended to like it when I opened it, and he was happy I appeared to like it. It has been sitting in my room since I got it, and I am not sure what to do. I want to return it so I can buy myself something I like, but I am nervous he may ask where it is somewhere down the line. What should I do? – Gift Gaffe, Queens, New York

DEAR GIFT GAFFE: It is so difficult for everybody to get it right when it comes to gift-giving. Yes, cash seems perfect to you as a gift. To your stepfather, who is likely trying his best to connect with you, an actual gift item seems more personal. Do not crush his feelings by saying anything about the necklace or exchanging it. Instead, consider it his offering of love to you. You don’t have to like it, but do appreciate the sentiment. For the future, remind your family that your tastes are changing as you mature, and you really would appreciate monetary gifts so that you can shop for yourself. Ask your mother to support you in this effort.

— Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to [email protected] or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.