DEAR HARRIETTE: My son is away at sleepaway camp, and my husband and I miss him terribly. We know he is fine, but we long to see pictures of him. His camp posts photos on a private Facebook page, and every day I go to the page to find my son, but I have seen him only once in five days. I don’t want to be the parents who complain incessantly on the page when they don’t see their children and demand to have them post pictures. How can I get my message across without seeming like a crazy parent? – Missing My Boy, Denver

DEAR MISSING MY BOY: Why not send a direct message to the camp head via his Facebook page? When you use that feature, the message goes to that person directly, without being broadcast to the other parents who are commenting on the page.

Take a deep breath and be calm before you start writing. Let the camp head know how much you miss your son; state his name and cabin name – if you know it – and ask if he would have someone look for your son and post a picture as soon as they find him. Thank him and express how grateful you will be to see your son’s shining face. Kindness and discretion may help you to see your son soon!

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DEAR HARRIETTE: Today I was shopping a sale, and I tried on a men’s sweater. I enjoy wearing oversized clothing, and I find that men’s clothing sometimes suits me better. During the sale, an employee came up to me and told me that I was trying on men’s clothing and that I could find clothing for women on the other side. I wasn’t sure how to respond when it was so clear that he expected me to move to the women’s sale. I fibbed and said I was trying on clothing for my lanky younger son.

I don’t want to lie, and I don’t feel as though I should have to. Sometimes I just want an oversized T-shirt or sweater! How can I concisely explain myself without being rude to salespeople? – Either Section Is Right, Shreveport, Louisiana

DEAR EITHER SECTION IS RIGHT: It’s completely understandable why you were left flat-footed. The salesperson was not paying close attention and was not attuned enough to respond to the moment by supporting you. Truth is, you may have found the perfect sweater where you were, or there may have been a better option in the women’s department while still oversized. So, the salesperson stumbled by making it uncomfortable for you.

In the future, forget feeling uncomfortable. You are the customer! You could have said, “Oh, yes, I know where I am. I am looking for an oversized sweater for myself. Do you think you could help me find something just the right size for what I have in mind?” That would have left enough wiggle room for the salesperson to look in the men’s department or head toward the women’s section. The key is your level of comfort and confidence in leading the way.

— Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to [email protected] or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.