DEAR HARRIETTE: The human race is scaring me more and more as the days pass. We are so materialistic that real issues and problems are being neglected. We care too much about status, materialistic things, wealth, etc. What happened to love, determination, peace and standing up for something important? It baffles me that we can talk to each other about Benzes but we can’t talk about the suspicious death of Kendrick Johnson. Talking about Kendrick Johnson is forbidden because that’s an issue too deep for everyday conversation.
My friends constantly talk about the latest trends, celebrities and reality shows. I want them to acknowledge the fact that there’s more to life than Louboutins. How do we bring what really matters into everyday conversation? How do we help those around us to acknowledge what’s truly important? – What Really Matters, Dallas
DEAR WHAT REALLY MATTERS: Thank you for being conscientious. You are right that many people no longer exercise that part of their brains. The collective moral compass of many people is not fixed on the challenges that face us. Often, the salve is materialism.
To change the conversation, start by educating people.
Chances are, few know who Kendrick Johnson was – a Georgia high school basketball player who was found dead in 2013, rolled up in a wrestling mat at his gym – or that many other people have died or been harmed under questionable circumstances.
If you are keen on discussing and addressing human rights issues or political matters – or some other topic – I recommend that you broaden your friend group. Find organizations or chat groups that care about the topics that interest you. Find a natural sounding board where you can be fully engaged. When you are with your other friends, you will have had more practice in talking about these topics. Introduce them strategically, without judgment. Choose current events that should be easily recognizable because they are in the news.
• • •
DEAR HARRIETTE: For my grandma’s birthday, I thought it’d be nice to give her a copy of the cookbook we love to use together. I tried to make the present cute by wrapping it in newspaper, like the Pinterest community loves doing. The result was easy and practical, and I even put a bow on the present. When I gave it to my grandma in front of the whole family, she said, “Well someone didn’t want to get me wrapping paper.”
I was mortified, and no one said anything. I wanted to make her gift special for her 90th birthday, but she just hurt my feelings. Is wrapping gifts in newspaper considered tacky? I thought it was hip! – Paper Cut, Cincinnati
DEAR PAPER CUT: Where you missed was in not thinking about what would appeal to your grandmother. She probably doesn’t know what Pinterest is. A 90-yearold would likely appreciate traditional wrapping with a flurry of bows. Newspaper wrapping, from an elder’s perspective, could have seemed like “poor man’s wrapping.”
Lick your wounds and go see your grandmother. Apologize for not wrapping her gift in a traditional way. Tell her that the newspaper wrapping is considered hip by some these days. Make the main point, though, that you didn’t think long enough about what kind of presentation she would most appreciate. From there, invite her to get back into the kitchen with you. Use that cookbook together!
— Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to [email protected] or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
Comments are not available on this story. Read more about why we allow commenting on some stories and not on others.
We believe it's important to offer commenting on certain stories as a benefit to our readers. At its best, our comments sections can be a productive platform for readers to engage with our journalism, offer thoughts on coverage and issues, and drive conversation in a respectful, solutions-based way. It's a form of open discourse that can be useful to our community, public officials, journalists and others.
We do not enable comments on everything — exceptions include most crime stories, and coverage involving personal tragedy or sensitive issues that invite personal attacks instead of thoughtful discussion.
You can read more here about our commenting policy and terms of use. More information is also found on our FAQs.
Show less