DEAR HARRIETTE: I am the owner of a small Chihuahua-mix, “Sadie.” She is very spunky and has her own unique personality. Sadie loves people, and I always get requests to dog-sit her while I am away on vacation. As kind as these offers are, I know Sadie changes when I am not around. She cries and looks for me for days while I am on vacation. It is sad to hear about, and definitely distressing to be around.

Ever since I let my best friend take care of Sadie for a week, I have been leaving my dog with a professional dog sitter. How do I explain to my friends that Sadie is a bit of a nightmare to leave with strangers when they won’t take no for an answer? They say I’m exaggerating, or think I don’t trust them to take care of Sadie. – Fetching for Answers, San Francisco

DEAR FETCHING FOR ANSWERS: Kindly put your foot down. If you choose to explain at all, tell those who ask that your dog has a routine when you go away that you need to keep in place in order to best care for her. Don’t talk about Sadie’s mood swings. Keep it as a discussion about how you support your family – your dog – when you are away. Welcome your friends to visit with Sadie when you are in town. If pressed, point out that Sadie is not staying with other friends. She is staying with a professional dog sitter so that you both have peace of mind.

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DEAR HARRIETTE: My sister and her longtime boyfriend just broke up. He was a great addition to the family for years, but they have just grown apart. During their time together, we became close friends. Over the course of their relationship, the three of us would hang out fairly frequently. He became like a brother to me. Since the breakup, I haven’t seen him.

I really want to get lunch with him and see how he’s doing. My sister is not angry with him, and I think her ex and I have developed our own friendship outside of their relationship. Should I ask my sister for her blessing to get lunch with her ex? I don’t think she’d mind, but I don’t want to start a war. – Text Your Ex, Boston

DEAR TEXT YOUR EX: You absolutely should speak to your sister before making any kind of overture to her ex. Be clear first, though, about your intentions. Do you really feel like he is a brother now, or do you have feelings for him? People do grow close to those whom their siblings date. Sometimes this is true even when people marry and then divorce. In some cases, family members do remain friends for years even after the original couple breaks up.

Before you enter that territory, check in with your sister and get her blessing. Cultivating a friendship with him again is worth it only if it doesn’t cause strife in the family.

— Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to [email protected] or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.