DEAR HARRIETTE: I have recently cut ties with many of my friends because I realized that our relationship was one-sided. Unfortunately, this has left me with only two or three friends. I decided that it wasn’t good for me to be around negative people and have relationships that took more from me than I gained, but is it too high of an expectation for me to be friends with someone who cares the same amount for me as I do for them? I don’t tend to get lonely, and I’d much rather have a few good friends than many fake ones, but I’m scared that this new attitude will restrict me in creating new friendships. – Feeling Demanding, New Orleans

DEAR FEELING DEMANDING: My mother used to tell us that you are lucky if you have two or three friends. I have learned over time that there are plenty of people I like and who I consider friendly. But the people who are part of my inner circle get to be there

based on experience, mutual love and respect. Yes, those people should be the ones who care about you in the ways that you appreciate and need. Anybody who does not treat you with respect does not deserve to get too close to your heart.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend got asked to prom by a boy in our grade whom she likes as a friend and wouldn’t mind going to prom with. She was hoping another guy would ask her, so she told him she wasn’t sure yet. Now, the guy she was hoping for did ask her, and she is conflicted whether she should say yes. She doesn’t want to be hurtful to the first guy because he is really nice, but if he sees her with someone else at prom, it would be awkward because she told him no. – Indecisive, Cincinnati

DEAR INDECISIVE: Had your friend agreed to go to the prom with the first boy, I would say she should honor the commitment.

She should have told him a clear “No, thank you,” when he first asked. Because she didn’t, the situation is now awkward. She has the right to go to the prom with the boy she wants to go with. What she should do out of respect to the other boy is to double back to him. She should thank him again for the invitation but let him know that she is going with someone else. She should apologize for not telling him from the beginning. If she is sincere with him about being sorry that she may have hurt his feelings, she will at least come across as authentic. It won’t change that her not being direct from the start led to this uncomfortable situation right now. But it may allow for him to save face and for them to maintain a respectful relationship.

— Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to [email protected] or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.