DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a younger widow. I married my husband when I was in my 20s and he was in his 50s. After 34 years of love, he passed away. This was a few years ago.

Originally, I was not looking for much and was not sure I could ever be happy again without my husband. Now, I find myself lonely. I have my friends, but they are all in happy marriages or in longterm relationships following divorces. Our children are all out of the house, but I just don’t see many good things on my horizon. To top it off, the family dog is now about to pass, and I will be the only one left in a four-bedroom home.

I feel apprehensive about trying to find someone new in my life. I don’t even think I would want to date again. I would just like to meet some new people and have activity in my life. My friends act as though I am unavailable for love and fun, so they don’t invite me to events. I am tired of feeling so alone, but I don’t know where to turn. How can I find a group of people like me in this technological age? – The In-Between, Pikesville, Maryland

DEAR THE IN-BETWEEN: You have a few choices to consider. Start with selling your house and moving into an apartment building. You could downsize and buy a condo or co-op and be in closer proximity to other people in a more manageable home. Take a class that puts you in the company of other like-minded people. You can also consider checking out dating websites for mature people. Even if you don’t find a soul mate, you could have fun meeting new people.

What you don’t want to do is feel stuck in awkward connections with old friends who aren’t sure how to include you. Expand your horizons!

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DEAR HARRIETTE: I got my tonsils taken out about a week ago. I am 24 and live alone, but I went back home so my parents could take care of me post-op. I am not supposed to smoke or drink for two weeks following the operation. Well, I messed up and smoked. I needed to go to the doctor because of the complications, and I asked the doctor to omit the reason for the complications from my parents. Needless to say, they’re incredibly curious and haven’t let it go. They’re afraid I could have more complications. I am not afraid of my parents since I am an independent adult with a job, but I just want to shield them from my not-so-family-friendly hobbies. Should I wait for this to fizz out, or come clean? – Smokey the Bear, Denver

DEAR SMOKEY THE BEAR: You may be independent, but you are not making wise decisions for yourself. I’m sure you already know, but smoking is one of the worst things you can do to your body. That you couldn’t resist when you were healing should tell you that it is a habit that you need to examine seriously. Telling your parents is not necessary. It will make them worry – for good reason. If you are unwilling to try to stop smoking, shielding them may be for the better. But I would suggest that you consider this health scare a wakeup call for you. Get help to stop smoking. Ask your doctor for help.

— Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to [email protected] or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.