DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been married for almost 10 years. In this time, I have had one son with my husband. I am my husband’s seventh wife; some he married to give them green cards, others were for love. Either way, all of these women divorced him at some point. He has one other son who is 25 years older than our son. Our relationship is getting more difficult to be in. I don’t work because he doesn’t want me to. Originally, I loved this setup, but now I have to ask my husband for any money, and it’s extremely degrading. He is also incredibly strict with our son and forces him to study for hours. My friends tell me to divorce my husband, but I feel like this could be something that we work on. They tell me his track record shows he isn’t capable of compromise. Do I listen to my friends and their logic? I feel like my emotions are getting in the way. – Caged Bird, Tulsa, Oklahoma

DEAR CAGED BIRD: Your friends are not your husband. Stop commiserating with them, and talk to him directly. For whatever reason, you chose to marry this man knowing that he had been married many times previously. You must have seen something in him that appealed to you. Drum up the courage to talk to your husband about your marriage. Tell him how stifled you are feeling and that you either want to get a job or you want him to be more generous with money. Do your best to talk out your issues and see if you can have a meeting of the minds. He may be giving you less money because finances are tight. Find out.

As far as your son is concerned, studying is good. Check in with your son’s teacher to learn how he’s doing in school. Perhaps you can suggest treats for your son, like time off occasionally from intense studying, when he does particularly well in school.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Whenever I am in the car with my friend “Suzy,” she always sings along to whatever song is on. I can tell Suzy is trying very hard to impress the rest of the passengers in the car when she sings. The worst part is the lack of compliments she receives. Suzy is not exactly the best singer on the planet. I would like to stop the sing-alongs, but I’m not sure how. Is it incredibly rude to turn the volume up? I think this would get the message across to Suzy, but it could be mortifying as well. – Not American Idol, Jackson, Mississippi

DEAR NOT AMERICAN IDOL: You could sing with her. At least she would feel supported. You could also choose a time when it’s just the two of you in the car and jokingly tell her it would be nice sometimes to let everybody hear the music rather than always hearing her singing along. Addressing the elephant in the room is often the best idea. It has less to do with her singing ability and more to do with everyone being able to enjoy the music. The car ride isn’t supposed to be a concert, right?

— Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to [email protected] or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.