There comes a time in everyone’s life when all you can see are the years passing by. This is not meant to be a sad column but this is what happens. Our lives are constantly changing. 

The afternoon sun was shining during the funeral at the St. Demetrios Cemetery. As I stepped at the graveside a friend came up to me said, “One hard thing about aging is losing your friends, folks and relatives. We lost three just this week!” So many have faced life’s final chapter. It is incredible. 

Each death is unique and each mourner’s path is different. There is no exact formula for grieving and healing. Each person we love occupies a special place in our life and in our hearts. We will grieve differently. Grief will take as long as it takes. There is no right way to grieve-there is just one way. 

Does anyone ever get over the loss of a loved one? I do not think so. We could disagree and still be friends. Our relationship thrived as we worked through our differences and forgave each other. We miss the vital relationships in our life. We benefit from other people’s input. The importance of these relationships has remained a constant throughout our lives. 

Meeting life’s many obligations as we age can be electrifying and has an impact on family and people around us. There are many changing seasons and we move into new opportunities. There is nothing wrong with feeling pain and sorrow. We are an emotional being, able to love and to hurt. Remember, Christ wept when he was hurt over the death of his friend, Lazarus. Also when he heard of His Cousin, John the Baptist’s death, he went to a lonely place to be by himself. Scripture tells us that the Holy Spirit can be grieved.

Part of getting through the loss of a loved one is in knowing you will never get over it, but time is a great healer. Oh, yes, a smile and laughter will return! Thomas Wolf’s words are so true “Is this not the romantic feeling—not to desire to escape life, but to prevent life from escaping us.” 

Yearning for what might have been, it is easy to let life escape us. It goes without saying, there are many, many people facing sadness and sorrow. 

I can understand folks simply fleeing the mountainous effort to accept that death has claimed a huge part of their life. Being in the midst of deep grief is very painful. Sharing can bring heart and energy and hope as we get past the shock of life’s changes. Life is not always fair. We have many bridges to cross just as the river of time flows past. Faith and kindness are like cupping an eternal flame of thoughtfulness, and connectedness. The good that we remember always grows.

Reclaiming our life is — giving life another chance, feeling the leap in our heart again and needing to know the future.

One step at a time, we welcome back all that was ever real to us propped up in a gentle, spiritual, practical and creative way.