DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband is eight years younger than me. We’ve been married for 10 years now, and our age difference has never been an issue.

As we get older and grow together, I notice that I’m conscious and concerned about worldly issues. I enjoy museums and documentaries. My husband will watch and participate in those things because I do. What he really likes is going out all night clubbing or to concerts. I do like to participate in those things, but that’s not my only source of entertainment.

As we get older, I see myself heading one way and him in another direction. I don’t know if that scares me or if I should be thankful that I realize it now. We were friends before anything, so I know that if we did separate, we would be able to still be cordial.

I want to do more with my life than just clubbing and hanging out. He doesn’t understand, though. To him, he’s young, and that’s what he should be doing. He told me, “I have all the time in the world to become boring. I’m young. I want to have fun before I no longer can.” When he said that, my heart dropped. I didn’t know that he found my new interests “boring” and old. How do we stop our age difference from creating a huge wedge in our relationship? – The Gap, Philadelphia

DEAR THE GAP: You two need to talk. You chose each other. It doesn’t sound like you need to split. More, it sounds like you need to create a plan where you enjoy each other’s interests occasionally as you make space to allow each other to do your own thing. As long as your husband’s clubbing or your museum hopping doesn’t lead you into someone else’s arms, it’s OK for you to have your personal pursuits. Your goal, though, should be to carve out shared interests that you both genuinely enjoy and want to do together so that your time apart is less stressful.

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DEAR HARRIETTE: I think my sister has a spending problem. It seems like every time she gets a check, she’s out the door to a store. Now with online shopping so popular, she doesn’t even have to leave home to make a purchase. She is constantly buying and returning things, which leaves my head spinning.

At the same time, though, she’s 30 and still lives at home. I don’t think she’s even considering moving into her own place. How can I get her to realize that she shouldn’t live with our parents for life and that she has to save money in order to move? I’m still in high school, but I do not plan on staying here. – Mad at Sis, Denver

DEAR MAD AT SIS: Your parents are the ones who can best help her by requiring that she pay rent, even if they save it to give back to her. She needs to see repercussions of her spending habits in order to consider changing. If this is potentially an addiction, you could print something up to show her what spending addicts do and encourage her to go to debtorsanonymous.org for support. She may need to crash financially before she wakes up.

— Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to [email protected] or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.