DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been in kind of a dating slump. I can’t seem to get a call back, and all the dates I go on have lagging and awkward conversations. I dread having to think of things to say, but I don’t know how to be inquisitive without seeming nosy. I know I need to up my game because a girl told me she was a “little bored” after a date once. This bummed me out, and I know I need to work on my conversational skills. How do I knock a date out of the park? – Losing the Game, Brooklyn, New York

DEAR LOSING THE GAME: When you invite someone out on a date, you can ask what she’s interested in and select an activity that requires action instead of only talking, like bowling, skating or rock climbing. This way, you have something to talk about that’s built into your date.

In terms of actual conversation, people usually like to talk about themselves. Ask questions that get your date to open up. You can ask about what she likes to do for fun, what her favorite anything is – book, movie, video game, cuisine. Ask her about her family, her work, her friends. When she asks you questions, answer them. If you can tell stories that illustrate your thoughts rather than one-word answers, she will be interested.

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DEAR HARRIETTE: I have lived with my roommates for almost a whole year. As our lease is coming up, they decided they will be renewing it, and we’ll all be living together again. I like some of my current roommates, but I could not imagine living in the same situation next year. No one has asked me if I would like to go through with this arrangement, and the fact that I have not been consulted offends me. I have never mentioned being all right with living with my current roommates for another lease. I am annoyed with their assumptions. I want them to ask me if I’d like to live with them for another year.

How can I tell someone to ask me about my living situation instead of just assuming? I cannot be stuck in a lease with partiers again. – Moving House, Norman, Oklahoma

DEAR MOVING HOUSE: Rather than being offended that your unruly roommates didn’t consult you about re-upping next year, make a plan to get out of there. Look for another apartment that you can afford. If you need to have roommates, look for people with whom you feel compatible. Then tell your roommates that you do not intend to sign on for another year with them. Give them enough time to find a replacement roommate, and resist expressing judgmental comments to them about their behavior. If they press you about why you don’t want to stay with them – which they probably won’t if you don’t share their interests – tell them that you don’t feel like you are a good fit with their group.

— Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to [email protected] or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.