DEAR HARRIETTE: At a work conference a few months ago, a group of employees decided to go out and party. They were incredibly drunk, and their debauchery was cringe-inducing to the company, but no higher-ups ever found out about this. These employees went out at night in Miami on their time off. Afterward, it was just office gossip and an eventful story to tell.

The next conference is coming up, and this same group is scheduled to take the trip. I don’t think this is fair, considering their past behavior on the trips. I wouldn’t want to become the whistle-blower for my co-workers’ partying ways, but I want to secure myself a spot on this trip. Is risking their wrath worth furthering my career by having my bosses like me more? I think they would be grateful that they wouldn’t send a bunch of drunkards across the country for a conference. – My Turn Now, Paterson, New Jersey

DEAR MY TURN NOW: Your motive here sounds an alarm. If you actually were thinking about your company’s best interest, you would have let them know – either directly or anonymously – after the previous incident. Your reason for outing your co-workers is to bump somebody so you can get a space. That will likely backfire on you because it’s a selfish action.

Your co-workers may have learned their lesson. If so, they will behave on this upcoming trip. If not, they may get in trouble. That is their problem. If you are invited to go, independent of them, keep your eyes on your work and your behavior, not on them.

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DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m concerned about my 15-year old son. While most parents are scrambling to keep their kids away from sex and relationships, he seems to have no desire for any of it. He doesn’t seem to be attracted to anyone. I don’t want to assume my child isn’t straight – not that there’s anything wrong with that – but I just wish I knew where his head was and what’s going on. Should I try to talk to my son about this, and if so, how? – Should Consider Myself Lucky, Detroit

DEAR SHOULD CONSIDER MYSELF LUCKY: Every child develops at his or her own pace. Your son may be slow to enter puberty, which is when children often become sensitized to their physical bodies and to each other. What you can talk to your son about – which hopefully you have already been doing – is growing up, sex in general (not specific to him), safe boundaries for intimate behavior and how to protect himself. Chances are, he will not want to talk about this at all, but you can weave it into conversations bit by bit.

Work on talking and listening to your son about his life. Learn about what he enjoys in his spare time. Find out about who his friends are. If you build a rapport with him, you may be able to discover what is occupying his thoughts. From there, you can figure out how to support him. Know that not every teen is sex-obsessed, even when puberty hits.

— Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to [email protected] or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.