“Colic is a five-letter word for ‘I don’t know’” – Dr. William Sears, Author, Pediatrician

The third time, they say, is the charm.

Our third little guy, born this past summer, is a charm for sure.

But until that charm-y goo-gooey-ness set in, our third was defined by another five-letter word that greatly overshadowed this.

Adding a third to any parent’s roster is already a tremendous juggle. A juggle that makes it wearisome for one to laugh, clown, laugh.

While very pregnant with my latest, many told me: ‘Adjusting to two is harder than adjusting to three – If you can handle two, a third’s easy.’

Their hearts were in the right place; they ticked off this encouraging nugget almost as often as that oft-told ‘Sleep when the baby sleeps’. (Ha!)

So many little parenting pointers get tossed around. But they aren’t always necessarily helpful or true for all.

Just as every family is different, each child in each family’s unique.

In our case, our third family wolf pack addition was our first experience with true inconsolable fussiness.

He wasn’t labeled ‘colicky’ until his second month, and boy oh boy was I worried about my boy.
Colic, by standard definition, is abdominal pain caused by intestinal gas that is suffered by babies.
It word itself comes from the Latin ‘colicus’ – for ‘colon.’

The Mayo Clinic defines it as a frustrating condition marked by predictable periods of significant distress in an otherwise well-fed, healthy baby. 

Babies with colic often cry more than three hours a day, three days a week for three weeks or longer, and nothing parents do seem to bring relief.

Our third babe was born a bit smaller than his precursors, and so his doctor believed gut development caused him little aches and pains. This was heartbreaking to watch, and we could never do anything about it.

When our older boys cried as babies, solutions were easy.

They just needed to be fed, rocked, changed, or cuddled.

Boom! Baby magic.

Colicky babies aren’t so easily consoled; there’s nothing a caregiver can do except try, try, try to be patient and ride it out with these tiny humans.

All doctors can really offer is the hope that this will pass. And it does.

Though researchers have explored numerous possible reasons – allergies, lactose intolerance, changes in normal digestive bacteria, ways babies are fed and comforted – it remains unclear in the medical world why some babies are or aren’t colicky.

Some remedies that can help some – though not all – babies, include the following:

• Holding a baby upright during feedings
• Changing up a mother’s diet if breastfeeding to rule out food sensitivities
• Switching formula brand if formula-fed
• Changing bottle brands
• Keeping baby in motion by rocking, swinging, strolling, or using a vibrating infant seat
• Singing to baby
• Turning up background white noise
• Offering a pacifier
• Cuddling and/or swaddling
• Putting baby down in his crib and walking away for a few minutes
• Using gas relief drops
• Using infant massage
• Soaking him in a warm bath
• Laying him across your lap and gently rubbing his back

No matter what, never, ever shake your baby.

If your frustration gets the better of you, lay him safely in his crib, or hand him to another trusted adult. It’s OK to let someone give you a break.

One of the very best tips I ever received while waiting out a particularly challenging crying spell and looking anxiously at the clock was to lay him in his bassinet and make myself a cup of tea.

That mini break was incredibly battery-charging for me.

It’s critical for all parents to give themselves breaks. 

And for parents who fear their frustration by seemingly incessant infant crying may come to a full boil, there is support.

Parents who struggle with coping are strongly encouraged to visit: dontshake.org/purple-crying or call (801) 447-9360 for help.

Remember – long periods of crying by babies who are otherwise healthy, normal, fed and nurtured is not a result of poor parenting.

In the grand scheme of things, colic is relatively short-lived – really – and in a matter of weeks or months, parents will have weathered one of the first major hurdles of parenthood.

Remarkably, our little one did overcome this phase.

He’s a happy-go-lucky four-month-old, whose insatiable giggle and wide-eyed smile lights up every room. He plays with his toes, he’ll grab your fingers and gleefully squeal.

This is the fun part – the part I was looking forward to.

He’s sweet, he’s cuddly, and it’s difficult to ever imagine how challenging his newborn phase was. It left as quickly as it came.

Maternity leave’s never a vacation for mamas, and this couldn’t have been more true my third go-around.

Having older children – particularly a school-aged child – meant I couldn’t hunker down all leave-long and hide out from the world. 

No, sir, I was in public constantly with babes in tow – school drop-offs, soccer games, putting on a brave face for my older kiddos’ benefit – and never knew when a colicky spell would strike.

It was embarrassing when it did.

Sometimes nursing was the quick solution – my husband called it ‘bringing in the closer’ – but when nothing helped, all I could do was wait it out until our little one cried it out.

All I could do was take comfort in our pediatrician’s words that this, too, would pass.

All I could do was make myself a cup of tea.

Before we knew it, the spell did indeed pass.

And in the meantime, I still enjoy making myself tea. And my radiant baby boy – my third time, a charm – just makes it all the sweeter.

— Michelle Cote is creative director of the Journal Tribune and a nationally-syndicated columnist. Rocking out to classics in her minivan with husband and three sons is totally her jam. Contact her at [email protected].