DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m feeling overwhelmed with work and family life. I was an avid traveler in my youth, and I miss the feeling of just being able to pack up and escape for a few days. When I told my husband how I was feeling, he said I was making him uncomfortable by talking about how I want to leave the family. I don’t want to abandon anyone, but I do want to get in touch with my youthful days. I will not just disappear out of the blue to a new country! I want to plan a vacation for myself, but my husband’s suspicions are making me second-guess myself. Is it wrong to take a few days for myself? I have sick days saved up and would like to escape my stressful work and home environment to recharge. – Wanderlust, San Diego
DEAR WANDERLUST: Wanting a brief getaway is different from desiring to reclaim your youth. It is natural for your husband to be worried. You can allay his fears by first doing some soul searching. What do you really want?
Taking a few days away is something many people do, even wives and mothers with families. If you actually think you can tap into your youth, you need to know that idea is delusional. It would be better to tap into yourself today. If you need a breather, go for it. Be sure to let your husband and children know your plans – especially that you are coming back home!
• • •
DEAR HARRIETTE: I haven’t had the best of luck when it comes to love. Two of my friends have found love on dating sites. So I finally decided to give them a try.
I met a guy on one site, and we immediately hit it off. We like a lot of the same things, like music and restaurants. Our first date was good, and our second date went well. By our third date, however, I noticed that he kept doing the same things repeatedly. He would pay for our meal and then allude that I should pay him back sexually. The first two times, I brushed it off. The third time, though, he did it and then drove us to his house – without asking. After that, I was done. I demanded to be taken home immediately. I told him to delete my number and that we would no longer be seeing each other. Since then, he’s left me numerous gifts on my doorstep. He’s also sent letters and even sends gift baskets with flowers to my job.
He went from the perfect date to a complete stalker. I don’t know how to get away from this guy. How do I get him to understand that I don’t want him? Is this grounds for a restraining order? – No More Stalking, Richmond, Virginia
DEAR NO MORE STALKING: Contact the dating site and let it know what is happening. Find out if it has any security support it can offer. Tell him to stop with the gifts; you are no longer interested. Make it clear that if he doesn’t stop, you will call the police. And yes, if you feel unsafe, make that call. Be safe.
— Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to [email protected] or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
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